


Thoughts and Thieves

by WildfireBay



Category: Persona 4, Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Gen, Post-Persona 5, Shiho's also in Inaba because she deserves to be here, akira is from inaba, at least right now, basically a groupchat fic, it's Scholar, morgana can type because i said so, rats rats we are the rats, she has a codename for the thing too, tags will be added as needed, there's plot if you squint i promise, vague investigation team connections
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24407107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildfireBay/pseuds/WildfireBay
Summary: Anon: ok i'm going to address this real quicklyAnon: what the hell happened on christmas eveAnon: was that just some sort of mass fever dream or whatJoker: We killed god.Anon: wait whatJoker: God is dead. We killed him.After everything was done and over with, the Phantom Thieves decided to open a QnA tab on the Phan-site (with Mishima's help, of course). Enter hijinks and shenanigans as the chat goes ballistic over one spelling mistake. Oh yeah, some other Persona users also have their suspicions confirmed.They also forget about Morgana.
Comments: 227
Kudos: 931





	1. The beginnening

**Author's Note:**

> please be gentle this is my first fic i'm uploading

**~Thoughts and Thieves~**

**Joker** : Greetings, everyone. I am Joker, leader of the Phantom Thieves.

**Joker** : After discussing with the admin of the Phan-site, we’ve decided to make a place where we can talk with you.

**Joker** : There are some rules, naturally.

**Joker** : Our identities are private. Asking who we are IRL will result in you being ignored, and attempting to hack the site to trace our messages is not recommended. We do have a highly skilled hacker on our team.

**Joker** : Our methods are also to remain disclosed.

**Joker** : Do not harass any of our members. We’ve all been through a load of shit, and will not tolerate any more.

**Joker** : Do not constantly get on our case about requests. At the current time, our usual method of changing hearts is unavailable, and as such we are unable to change hearts. We apologize for this.

**Joker** : We are allowed to not answer a question if we don’t feel comfortable with it, and we won’t be on all the time. Just like the rest of you, we’re people too, and have our own individual needs.

**Joker** : Except Oracle. She’s up at ungodly hours, so who knows when she’ll be on.

**Oracle** : HEY >:(

**Joker** : And with that, I’ll let the other thieves introduce themselves and we’ll open up chat.

**Skull** : What’s up everybody? The name’s Skull. I’m one of the guys on the team

**Panther** : Hiya! I’m Panther. She/her, please!

**Fox** : I’m Fox. Male.

**Queen** : My name’s Queen. Female, though I suppose that’s a bit obvious. Nice to meet you.

**Noir** : Hello everyone! I’m Noir. It’s a pleasure to meet all of you! She/her!

**Oracle** : wassup, I’m Oracle, the team’s resident hacker. she/her

**Joker** : I believe that’s everyone. All that’s left to say is be respectful and please don’t try and ping us. Admin, could you open up the chat?

**ADMIN has lifted chat restrictions. Have fun! :)**

**Anon** : NO WAY

**Anon** : are these the real PT?

**Skull** : as real as you can get! I think

**Anon** : holy shit it’s the Phantom Thieves in the text

**Skull** : we’ve seen some pretty unreal things before

**Mona** : Hey! You guys completely forgot to let me introduce myself! >:(

**Anon** : did they forget one of their own members

**Anon** : LMAO

**Anon** : Hydrate yourselves. Right now.

**Noir** : Oh, I’m sorry, Mona-chan! We completely forgot!

**Anon** : I’m saying this right now Noir is a treasure if anyone hurts her I’m going to commit arson

**Anon** : holy shit

**Noir** : Aw, that’s so sweet! If someone were to try and hurt me, however, I’d slice their hands off with my axe first!

**Anon** : HOLY SHIT

**Anon** : DAMN NOIR ISN’T PLAYING AROUND

**Anon** : oH GOD-

**Anon** : WOW OK THEN

**Anon** : dAmn

**Noir** : Just kidding~!

**Anon** : remind me not to piss her off

**Fox** : Trust me, the others would be at her side first.

**Mona** : AHEM.

**Anon** : y’all should let Mona introduce themself

**Anon** : oh yeah we should

**Anon** : rip

**Mona** : Anyways, I’m Mona, _clearly_ the smartest member of the Phantom Thieves! He/him

**Oracle** : shut up mona

**Oracle** : ur nothing compared to me and my big brain

**Anon** : is oracle the big memer

**Oracle** : u know it

**Oracle** :  lmao.png 

**Anon** : culture.png

**Queen** : And there’s the first meme.

**Anon** : Question, are any of the members in relationships?

**Anon** : oooo romance is fun~

**Queen** : A few of our members are in relationships, though it’s mainly with us in the PT.

**Anon** : Oooooooo

**Anon** : oh yeah we can ask questions

**Anon** : Who’s the oldest member?

**Noir** : It’s either me or Queen!

**Fox** : It’s Queen.

**Anon** : wow

**Anon** : I would’ve expected Joker to be the oldest since he’s leader

**Skull** : Nah, he’s just the founding member along with Mona and I

**Panther** : I was there too!

**Skull** : Panther too

**Skull** : I still remember the look on shithead’s face at the elevators

**Joker** : Let’s not talk about him.

**Skull** : oh

**Skull** : right

**Anon** : owo?

**Oracle** : UwU

**Anon** : ewe

**Mona** : -w-

**Anon** : do you guys have any photos that you can share?

**Anon** : sorry if that was too personal

**Panther** : You’re okay! And we can share memes and scenic photos, just not anything of ourselves

**Oracle** : did somebody say memes

**Oracle** : cool.mp4

**Oracle** : fightinggod.png

**Anon** : FUCK YOU ORACLE

**Anon** : *dramatic gasp* iN THIS DAY AND AGE

**Anon** : how DARE YOU

**Oracle** : youllneverseeitcoming.png

**Anon** : i don’t get it i don’t speak american

**Oracle** : fuckmona.png

**Anon** : i don’t speak american oh my god

**Anon** : the last one’s file name hkjfdshlkjfdfsa

**Oracle** : meme29321.png

**Anon** : youapproachme.png

**Oracle** : OH? YOU’RE APPROACHING ME?

**Oracle** : INSTEAD OF RUNNING AWAY YOU’RE COMING TO ME?

**Anon** : I CAN’T HAVE A MEME OFF WITHOUT GETTING CLOSER

**Anon** : goddammit

**Queen** : I'm going to leave, and I expect the others should soon. If anyone needs me, have one of the others ping me.

**Anon** : will do

**Anon** : Bye!!

**Anon** : see ya

**Anon** : hey so what’s up with your names

**Anon** : is there a reason you went with those names specifically?

**Mona** : They’re our codenames for when we’re on missions. They mainly reflect who we are/our mission attire.

**Mona** : Honestly I don’t know why Skull chose Mona for me though

**Skull** : it’s a hell of a lot easier to say than your actual name

**Mona** : ….anyways

**Mona** : Skull, Panther and Fox’s codenames are from their outfits, Queen is what she liked, Oracle because she’s our navigator, Noir because of our whole group’s theme apparently, and Joker because he was our trump card.

**Anon** : wdym navigator

**Oracle** : i was the one who gave them info from a distance and shit

**Anon** : Trump card???

**Anon** : this just makes me more curious as to what the hell you guys do

**Joker** : just don’t think too hard about it

**Joker** : it’s really not that big of a deal

**Anon** : ok i’m going to address this real quickly

**Anon** : what the hell happened on christmas eve

**Anon** : was that just some sort of giant mass fever dream or what

**Joker** : We killed god.

**Anon** : wait what

**Joker** : God is dead. We killed him.

**Anon** : hOLY SHIT

**Anon** : WAIT ARE YOU SERIOUS???

**Anon** : _WHAT_

**Anon** : I HAVE SEVERAL QUESTIONS

**Panther** : Leave it to Joker to make things more dramatic

**Panther** : We didn’t kill God. We killed a false god claiming he was a god.

**Anon** : ??????

**Anon** : that doesn’t clear anything up???

**Anon** : WAIT SO THAT WAS ALL REAL

**Anon** : _HUH?????_

**Anon** : You’re lying

**Anon** : No way

**Anon** : thAT CAN’T BE TRUE

**Joker** : Believe it or not, we killed a god that day

**Joker** : we also faded from existence and nearly died

**Joker** : that was unpleasant

**Noir** : I’d rather not think about that…

**Skull** : ...agreed

**Joker** : ...right

**Anon** : i

**Anon** : what

**Anon** : I’m so confused???

**Mona** : don’t worry about it if you don’t want your head to explode

**Anon** : do y’all need therapy or smth? seriously wth did you go through

**Noir** : I appreciate your concern, but we’ll be fine. It takes a lot more than almost dying to break a Phantom Thief!

**Anon** : what was it like changing people’s hearts?

**Joker** : physically? draining. emotionally? both taxing and relieving

**Skull** : at least we got used to it after a couple of expiditions

**Skull** : expeditions

**Skull** : shit

**Oracle** : expiditions

**Panther** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Noir** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Fox** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Joker** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Mona** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Skull** : WHY ME

**Anon** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Joker** : your error your grave

**Anon** : DAMN

**Anon** : expiditions

**Anon** : Joker went for the kill

**Anon** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Mona** : hey Joker

**Anon** : expiditions

**Anon** : expiditions

**Joker** : what

**Anon** : expiditions

**Anon** : guys i think that’s enough

**Anon** : expiditions

**Mona** : GO TO BED BITCH

**Joker** : sorry gotta go mow the roof can’t right not

**Anon** : :O

**Anon** : does Joker not sleep?!

**Noir** : Oh dear

**Anon** : What time even is it for you?

**Noir** : Roughly 12am!

**Anon** : !!!

**Anon** : You all should be sleeping!

**Anon** : LISTEN TO MONA AND GO TO BED

**Anon** : S L E E P

**Anon** : sounds like it’s bedtime for you

**Mona** : LISTEN TO THE ANONS, JOKER

**Joker** : SORRY CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE WASHING MACHINES

**Anon** : Mona you have to sleep too!

**Mona** : Hey, if anyone needs it the most, it’s either Joker or Fox because god knows how long the two would stay up if they didn’t have anyone forcing them to sleep

**Mona** : Oracle, too. Who knows what kind of habits she used to be in if she’s like this now

**Anon** : @everyone _GO TO BED YOU MORONS_

**Anon** : DAMMIT CAN’T PING EVERYONE

**ADMIN** : Let me

**ADMIN** : GO TO BED YOU FUCKS

**Anon** : hOLY

**Anon** : this applies to you too bitch

**Anon** : EVERYONE HERE SHOULD GO TO BED D:<

**Fox** : Frankly, I was getting ready to sleep.

**Skull** : yeah uh no one believes that.

**Fox** : ...No comment.

**Mona** : I’ve located Joker and have forced him to go to bed.

**Mona** : No I will not say what I did.

**Mona** : I’m going after the others next.

**Mona** : Goodnight.

**Anon** : did Mona just commit homicide

**Anon** : RIP Phantom Thieves

**Anon** : Can we get an F in the chat

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Oracle** : F

**Oracle** : i think the others left in fear of mona

**Oracle** : ‘sup bitches

**Oracle** : who wants to play some csgo with me and go wreck some noobs

**Anon** : bet what’s ur tag

**Oracle** : Alibaba :)

**Anon** : O H

**Anon** : SHIT NEVERMIND THEN

**Oracle** : What? You scared of lil ol me? :)

**Anon** : ORACLE PLZ

**Anon** : w EL L TH E N

**Anon** : GUESS WE KNOW HOW THEY SENT OUT SHIDO’S CALLING CARD THEN

**Anon** : guys i’m confused

**Anon** : who’s Alibaba

**Oracle** : me

**Anon** : I

**Anon** : alright fair enough

**Anon** : Alibaba’s a pretty notorious hacker

**Oracle** : actually I used to be Medjed before some fools decided to start using my name for their crimes

**Anon** : SERIOUSLY???

**Anon** :  themoreyouknow.jpeg 

**Oracle** : ew jpeg files

**Anon** : it’s all google had i’m sorry

**Mona** : _oh hello Oracle :)_

**Oracle** : hi Mona :)

**Mona** : _It’d be a shame if Boss let me in to come force you to sleep, wouldn’t it? :)_

**Mona** : _Look behind you :)_

**Oracle** : well guys it was fun talking guess i’ll die now

**Anon** : MONA NO

**Anon** : MONA PLS DON’T KILL THE MEMER

**Anon** : mona back at it again with manslaughter

**Anon** : guessilldie.png

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**ADMIN** : Since all the thieves are offline for the night, I’ll be closing up the chat for now. You can still talk with each other on the forums, but for now, goodnight!

**ADMIN has restricted chat privileges. That’s all for now, folks! Hope you had fun :D**

  
  



	2. RAT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon: what’s the funniest thing that one of your members has done
> 
> Oracle: :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's bitch boy's birthday  
> happy birthday bitch

**ADMIN has given everyone chat perms. Back at it again! :)**

**Anon** : before anyone says anything can i just say how i love the fact that admin gives little messages with his restriction msgs

 **Anon** : Yeah!! It’s super cute :D

 **Anon** : And wholesome

 **Anon** : WHOLESOME ADMIN IN THE CHAT

**ADMIN** : :O

 **ADMIN** : thank you!!

 **ADMIN** : I just want this to be a positive place for everyone and the Thieves c:

**Anon** : you do u my funky little friend

 **Anon** : speaking of the thieves

 **Anon** : How’s everyone doing right now?

**Oracle** : who knew actually having a life would be so boring

 **Oracle** : i mean, come on! before i went outside i used to be perfectly fine with staying in my room, eating instant ramen and curry, and then proceeding to stay awake for days on end before passing out for the same amount of time

 **Oracle** : if i’m not dead then it should be ok right

**Anon** : oracle no that’s not healthy even if you’re not dead

 **Anon** : There are so many reasons why your logic is wrong. So many.

 **Anon** : Sorry, Oracle, but that is not correct

**Queen** : Admin, why did you open the chat? The majority of us are asleep, and if they’re not they should be.

**Oracle** : SHIT QUEEN SPOTTED

 **Oracle** : SCATTER

**Anon** : *sirens blast*

 **Anon** : *hides under a table*

 **Anon** : *incoherent screaming*

 **Anon** : *rat*

**Oracle** : RAT

**Anon** : RAT?

**Oracle** : R A T !

**Rat** : _RAT!_

 **Rat** : !!!

 **Rat** : _R A T T ! ! !_

**Oracle** : YOU, ANON, ARE NOW DEEMED “RAT”

 **Oracle** : CONGRATULATIONS

**Anon** : WAIT ANONS CAN GET SPECIAL NICKNAMES

 **Anon** : I want a nickname!! :c

 **Anon** : RATS RATS WE ARE THE RATS

 **Anon** : RAT RIGHTS RAT RIGHTS

**Rat** : I’M HONOURED ORA~CHAN

**ADMIN** : oracle what have you done

**Oracle** : shh, just let them enjoy themselves

**Queen** : Admin, go to bed before I break your fists.

**ADMIN** : ok queen

**Anon** : Queen slamming down the law

 **Anon** : something about the statement “ok queen” radiates an energy

 **Anon** : ikr

**Oracle** : anyways you guys have any questions for me or smth

**Anon** : Why’d Queen tell Admin to get off but not you?

**Queen** : Because I know I can’t stop Oracle anyways.

**Anon** : then why are you awake?

**Queen** : …

**Oracle** : just checked. she was studying or smth

**Queen** : _ORACLE!!!_

**Anon** : studying???

 **Anon** : ooo what you studying?

 **Anon** : ew work

**Queen** : Mainly law and legal things.

**Anon** : Really?

 **Anon** : are you majoring in law or something?

**Queen** : I’m planning on becoming a police commissioner, so yes, I will be focusing my studies on law and procedures and such.

**Anon** : if i were to get arrested i’d want it to be by queen’s hands

**Queen** : …Moving on

**Anon** : Go to bed Queen

 **Anon** : Studying’s cool and all, but take care of yourself too

**Oracle** : yeah queen listen to that anon >:)

**Anon** : I would say that to you too but I know you’d just ddos me or something.

**Oracle** : damn right

**Anon** : What’re all your favorite foods?

**Oracle** : mine’s curry, joker’s adrenaline, skull’s ramen, panther’s crepes, fox’s anything he can get his hands on, queen’s probably salads or smth, and noir’s the finest tea leaves on the planet

**Anon** : is Fox okay???

 **Anon** : I’m trying to figure out if some of them were actually serious or not

 **Anon** : wtf joker

**Fox** : I assure you, I am perfectly fine. The others have been rather insistent on… “helping”.

**Oracle** : we all know you would rather buy art supplies than food

 **Oracle** : you would not take care of yourself if we didn’t do it for you

**Anon** : if you ever want restaurant suggestions hmu i’ll find you the best spots for any price range

**Oracle** : If the others don’t see it I’ll make sure to let them know

**Anon** : who’s the tallest member?

**Oracle** : height is a social construct that does not exist

**Anon** : so ur short

 **Anon** : lmao imagine Oracle being a little gremlin or something

**Oracle** : I’ll have you know I’m a proud gremlin of society!

**Fox** : I am the tallest, while Joker’s second tallest.

**Anon** : ty for answering, I shall find a way to use this information somehow

 **Anon** : fellow anon what’re you planning

 **Anon** : Now I’m curious

**Oracle** : an anonymous cryptic has entered the chat

**Fox** : I’ll be taking my leave now, I need to finish one of my projects.

**Anon** : bye Fox

 **Anon** : Seeya then

 **Anon** : yeet

**Oracle** : yeet

**ADMIN** : yeet

**ADMIN has turned off chat for now, thereby inciting his meaning to force anyone awake to sleep :)**

* * *

**Oracle has taken initiative and opened chat up**

**Oracle** : morning peasants

 **Oracle** : it is i, your humble master

**Anon** : Hello Oracle!

**Panther** : oracle the majority of us literally just woke up

**Anon** : ooo morning thieves??

 **Anon** : hello and good morning to y’all

 **Anon** : make sure that you get your daily dose of hydration and memes today

 **Anon** : opinions on the legality of driving on a road in reverse

**Oracle** : it should 100% be legal

**Queen** : It should 100% NOT be legal.

**Anon** : discuss

**Oracle** : i mean as long as you’re still following all the driving laws and shit it should be fine

**Queen** : If you’re inexperienced enough, though, that’s a sure way to cause an accident.

**Oracle** : maybe there could be some reverse driving training or something

 **Oracle** : or if you’ve had enough years of driving experience you could take a test to validate your reverse driving capabilities

**Queen** : Absolutely not.

**Anon** : hot take: reverse driving should be legal only for people 152cm and under

 **Anon** : give the shorties the power

**Oracle** : Y E S

**Queen** : NO.

**Anon** : oracle confirmed shorter than 152cm?

**Oracle** : you thought

 **Oracle** : I’m _exactly_ 152cm

**Anon** : so you’re still short

**Oracle** : irrelevant, next question

**Anon** : what’s the funniest thing that one of your members has done

**Oracle** : :)

**Joker** : you just unleashed hell

**Oracle** : _Oh boy oh boy buckle in because I got a story for every one of them_

**Anon** : oh no

 **Anon** : this is gonna be good

**Oracle** : Let’s see, where to start…

 **Oracle** : How about the time Joker had fallen after fighting a group of enemies and he just _gave up_ entirely

 **Oracle** : He said, word by word, “I hate this fucking place so much please just let it be over with soon I can’t take it anymore I’m at my fucking limit”

 **Oracle** : After that he laid there for a good 10 minutes before we decided to call it a day

 **Oracle** : There’s also the fact that Skull legally can’t say “fuck”

 **Oracle** : Every time he tries he doesn’t have the heart to do it

 **Oracle** : And then there’s the fact that Panther, Fox and Queen each have their outfits get stuck in doors on the regular

 **Oracle** : Individually though Panther’s whip is like earbuds and it’s hilarious to watch as she tries to untangle them every time we go out

 **Oracle** : Fox one time almost died for the sake of his inspiration because he just _had_ to stay a bit longer at this one place but it’s hilarious to think about

 **Oracle** : almost every time Queen punched something she would scream “FISTS OF JUSTICE” at the top of her lungs

 **Oracle** : I’m still surprised she never attracted any extra enemies

 **Oracle** : whenever we got to the end of the places we went to do the thing Mona would always go crazy Gollum mode over whatever was in there

 **Oracle** : And then Noir once suffered the worst status effect ever… brainwash

 **Oracle** : it was probably very terrifying and traumatizing for the others but for me it was the funniest shit ever

 **Oracle** : everyone was screaming as Noir tried to slice them with her axe

 **Oracle** : I, of course, was still trying to help but it was then that they decided to never let her be hit with that ever again

 **Oracle** : wait until I tell you about the _second_ time it happened :)

**Joker** : listen here you little shit

 **Joker** : you try having a sadistic axe-wielding woman chase after you with murder in her eyes and see how you feel

**Noir** : Am I really that scary…?

**Skull** : yes you are aND I CAN SAY FUCK EXCUSE YOU

**Panther** : THOSE WHIPS AREN’T EASY TO MANAGE YOU KNOW

**Fox** : Anything’s worth it for the sake of art.

**Queen** : Why did you bring back “fists of justice”.

**Mona** : How _dare_ you insult me like that!

**Oracle** : it is what it is ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Anon** : OH THANK FUCK I CAN TYPE AGAIN

 **Anon** : ORACLE THAT WAS A BLESSING THANK YOU

 **Anon** : who turned off chat???

 **Anon** : is brainwash some kind of pokemon status or something

**Oracle** : yeah pretty much

**Anon** : time check what’s the clock say

 **Anon** : Oracle has given us the gift of blackmail material

**Queen** : It's time for them to get off their phones and go out the door before they’re late.

**Skull** : shit she remembers when school starts

**Anon** : go to class >:V

 **Anon** : Be good students and listen to the lectures :)

 **Anon** : ha losers still have school

**Skull** : bold of you to assume that any of us have that attention span

**ADMIN has forcibly closed chat so the others do as they’re supposed to :)**

**Oracle** : can it admin u have school just like the rest of us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> googles "weird questions to ask people"  
> ah yes very interesting
> 
> anyways first of all I was not expecting so much positivety for chapter 1 so thank you!! hopefully i managed to make this chapter just as entertaining
> 
> second I'm gonna ask this right from the beginning would you guys want me to incorporate P5 Scramble into this? cuz I could go the Scramble path and write in the events and characters from that plus the P3+4 characters because I said so or I could just incorporate P3+4 characters and ignore Scramble entirely or just bring in Zenkichi and Sophia and have a different plot from Scramble
> 
> Either way I'll come up with something based on what you guys want


	3. the mona and joker one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon: Does Joker have an accent

**Chat has been opened. By Oracle or ADMIN, that is for you to decide :)**

**Joker** : sup everyone give us questions since we’re bored

**Anon** : how are you guys right now

**Joker** : I’m doing good, Mona’s with me right now and we don’t know what to do

**Mona** : I never knew that Joker’s home was so _boring_.

**Joker** : nothing we can do about it unfortunately

**Anon** : is there nowhere for you to go???

 **Anon** : You could try making a pillow fort or something

**Joker** : my town literally has two interesting things, and a pillow fort isn’t a bad idea

**Anon** : do u live in the middle of nowhere or smth

**Joker** : pretty much

 **Joker** : if the others didn’t live 3 hours away I’d probably be doing something with one of the thieves or someone

**Rat** : I know that feeling pretty well

 **Rat** : Living in the country’s so booorrriinnnggg compared to big cities like Tokyo!

**Mona** : Tell me about it…

**Anon** : THE RAT HAS RETURNED

 **Anon** : PRAISE TO THE RAT

**Rat** : I have returned~!

**Mona** : Joker’s lived here far longer than me, and even he doesn’t know what to do!

**Joker** : just because I live here doesn’t mean i’m an expert

**Anon** : but you should though

 **Anon** : especially if it’s a small town like you make it out to be

 **Anon** : Does Joker have an accent

**Joker** : I don’t think I do?

**Mona** : Usually he’s pretty good at hiding it, but it comes out in full force when he’s angry or upset.

**Joker** : is it really that noticeable?

**Mona** : Oh absolutely

**ADMIN** : I have to agree with Mona there, Joker

**Anon** : Joker has an accent confirmed

 **Anon** : thank you for this information

 **Anon** : now I want to hear Joker’s accent

**Oracle** : I have videos~

**Joker** : please don’t

 **Joker** : i’m going to use the excuse that someone might recognize my voice

**Oracle** : Sorry, dear leader, but that’s not going to work! I’ll just send them as mp3 files!

 **Oracle** : angy.mp3

 **Oracle** : jokersaysyall.mp3

 **Oracle** : sailorjoker.mp3

**Joker** : why must you forsake me like this

**Oracle** : for the memes, Joker

**Anon** : FOR THE MEMES!!!

 **Anon** : Oracle comes in and blesses us once again

 **Anon** : Joker sounds hot

 **Anon** : the third file’s name hfdklajshf

**Joker** : welp guess that’s enough of that huh don’t mind me just going to jump into this river conveniently nearby now

**Anon** : DEATH IS ILLEGAL

 **Anon** : NO WAIT JOKER I’M SORRY PLEASE COME BACK

**Joker** : maybe the flow will bring me to a place where no one knows me

 **Joker** : i’ll be free from this curse

 **Joker** : maybe get a few chickens

**Anon** : MONA PLS MAKE SURE HE DOESN’T HURT HIMSELF

 **Anon** : dramatic much

**Oracle** : Joker’s our resident drama queen™, he’ll be fine

**Anon** : omg

**Rat** : Joker please don’t drift downstream D:

 **Rat** : If you do you might come to where I live and where I am is probably not any better

**Mona** : Joker just laid down in the grass by the river and isn’t moving when I try to pull him up

 **Mona** : Why is he like this

**Anon** : pics or it didn’t happen

**Mona** : Sorry, dear anon, but that might _actually_ compromise his identity.

 **Mona** : I think I have a way to get him to sit up

**Anon** : Oracle can you inform us on what’s happening

**Oracle** : Mona just scratched Joker’s stomach

**Anon** : M O N A

 **Anon** : STRAIGHT FOR THE KILL

 **Anon** : HAJSHDLJFHDSJF

 **Anon** : OMG

**Joker** : I’ll have you know Mona’s nails hurt like a b i t c h

**Mona** : That’s what you get for being overdramatic.

**Joker** : I will burn you at the stake.

**Mona** : You know you won’t

**Anon** : Joker really is dramatic huh

 **Anon** : it’s good content

**Rat** : Ooo, I have a question!

 **Rat** : You guys have codenames and stuff, but do you have things like codewords?

**Joker** : actually yeah we do

 **Joker** : We have a couple of codewords and phrases, partially to use for getting info and also in case someone needs help

 **Joker** : after Queen joined the team we learned that codewords would probably be useful after the stunt she pulled to help us

**Anon** : stunt???

**Joker** : I don’t think we should talk about it

**Anon** : you’re making us curious

 **Anon** : was it illegal?

 **Anon** : Ooo was it like a spy thing

**Joker** : Kind of? Except for the fact that she gave us no warning at all and scared the shit out of us

**Mona** : At the very least we managed to do what we needed to without anything bad happening to her or us.

**Anon** : you make it sound like you could’ve died

 **Anon** : uhhh topic change?

 **Anon** : theultimateoof.png

**Joker** : thank you for the meme i’ll be taking that now

**Anon** : you’re welcome

 **Anon** : If you had to attach one word to the end of every sentence, what word would that be?

**Joker** : hmmm

 **Joker** : If I had to attach one word to the end of every sentence

 **Joker** : the word I’d choose would be...

**Mona** : He has a stupid grin on his face, be prepared

**Anon** : oh no

 **Anon** : Should we be scared?

**Joker** : ...Nya~

**Oracle** : cursed

**Anon** : OH GOD

 **Anon** : jOKER NO-

 **Anon** : joker, my guy, my pal, my homie, _why_

**ADMIN** : Congratulations, Joker, you’ve broken chat.

**Joker** : Mona already does that so like

**Anon** : excuse me???

**Mona** : I did it ONCE because Noir ASKED

 **Mona** : _ONCE!_

**Joker** : You dug your own grave the day you did it, buddy

**Anon** : So like, do you guys have any favorite things to do when you’re bored?

 **Anon** : ooo what do thieves do in their free time

**Joker** : video games

 **Joker** : mainly arcade ones

 **Joker** : wander around

 **Joker** : movies occasionally

 **Joker** : hang with friends

 **Joker** : the usual

**Mona** : He pets the local cats if there’s really nothing else to do

**Anon** : is there really nothing to do where you live?

**Joker** : oh yeah there’s also a good spot for fishing by the river

**Anon** : you fish?

**Joker** : you’d be surprised at the things I do

**Rat** : You sound like one of my friends, Joker~kun!

 **Rat** : And I had to do something, so now I'm back!

**Joker** : ah, welcome back rat

**Oracle** : RAT HELLO YES GREETINGS MY FRIEND

**Rat** : HELLO, ORA~CHAN!!

**Anon** : the fated duo reunited

 **Anon** : is Rat a secret member of the Phantom Thieves???

**Rat** : Sadly not! I don’t know any of them in person, either!

**Oracle** : if we do ever meet i will not hesitate to tell you _e v e r y t h i n g_ about phantom thievery

**Joker** : please don’t ever meet

**Oracle** : PLEASE meet

**Anon** : What does Mona do in his spare time?

**Mona** : I don’t really do much aside from wander around and listen to the talk of the town, which is usually the same thing for months on end apparently

 **Mona** : Seriously, all they can talk about is the fact that Joker’s back in town!

 **Mona** : He was gone for, like, a year! At most! That’s not that long!

**Joker** : in a small town in the country, it is. it is very long in the country

**Anon** : oh god it’s horrible in the country

 **Anon** : especially coming from the city

 **Anon** : I had to live there for a couple of years due to my dad’s work and everything was so _slow_ and _boring_

 **Anon** : The most interesting thing was a convenience store!

**Joker** : honestly yeah you just described my hometown right there

 **Joker** : before going to Tokyo for the year, I was fine with it

 **Joker** : But _man_ coming back I realize just how _dull_ everything is here

 **Joker** : even without all the crazy shit that happened with the Phantom Thieves I’d probably find home to be just as boring as I do now

**Oracle** : he constantly messages us begging for us to take him back

**Anon** : wow joker

 **Anon** : i can’t believe you don’t like looking at hills all day

 **Anon** : that’s like the best thing you could do

 **Anon** : so many things to think about

 **Anon** : so many existential crisises that could happen

 **Anon** : Other Anon are you okay

 **Anon** : probably not

**Joker** : hey Admin and Oracle can you program a tv that i can go through to teleport between here and Tokyo

**Oracle** : if only that was possible, but alas even with my handy dandy friend I don’t think that’d be possible

**ADMIN** : dude i literally just manage the site for you i can’t do anything else relating to whatever the hell you guys did

**Joker** : dammit

**Anon** : Speaking of TVs

 **Anon** : I’m pretty sure that no one believes in it, but there’s this urban legend for this one town (idk if it’s where you live or not)

 **Anon** : but basically if you stare at your tv at midnight you’ll see this thing called the Midnight Channel

**Joker** : oh I remember that

 **Joker** : I was in like middle school or something when that legend surfaced

**Rat** : !!

 **Rat** : I know it too!!! I actually met the majority of my friends because of that!

**Joker** : oh?

**Anon** : ew urban legends

 **Anon** : Didn’t those surface around the time of those weird kidnappings?

**Joker** : oh yeah that happened as well

 **Joker** : god my parents were so worried about it all that when school was done they made me come straight home and I wasn’t allowed to go out without an adult

**Anon** : overprotective

 **Anon** : Kidnappings???

**Mona** : You never told us about this!

**Joker** : I thought I did

 **Joker** : Basically a few years back there was a chain of kidnappings that happened over the course of a year

 **Joker** : Apparently this one detective’s daughter even got caught up in it before they finally found the culprit, though they never figured out his methods

**Rat** : That was a scary time D:

**Anon** : holy shit

 **Anon** : Now that’s some Buzzfeed Unsolved level crime

 **Anon** : what kind of country town do you live in????

**Joker** : if it makes you feel any better literally nothing has happened since

 **Joker** : aside from me, I happened last year

**Anon** : oh?

 **Anon** : What happened???

**Joker** : Masayoshi Shido happened.

**Anon** : _o h_

 **Anon** : Well shit man

 **Anon** : Despite the fact that everyone thought he was good, he ended up being just like all the other adults in the world, huh

**Joker** : okay that dude might’ve fucked up a lot of people but if it wasn’t for what happened I wouldn’t’ve moved to Tokyo and became a Phantom Thief

**Anon** : ironic

**Joker** : ironic indeed

 **Joker** : He’s still a giant jackass, and he might’ve fucked up my life for a year, but he got what he deserved.

 **Joker** : I want to say I wouldn’t have it any other way, but there’s still one thing that I wish didn’t have to happen

**Oracle** : Okay Joker you’re not going to delve into that whole shitshow right now, so no questions from the Anons

**Joker** : Fair enough

**Anon** : well damn guess we can’t ask

 **Anon** : uhhhhh TOPIC CHANGE

 **Anon** : ya like jazz?

**Oracle** : dead meme. blocked and reported

**ADMIN** : goddammit Oracle

**Anon** : did she actually report that anon

**ADMIN** : Yes. Yes she did.

**Anon** : wow ok i thought i was cool but guess not

 **Anon** : RIP to you Anon

**Rat** : What’s Mona~kun doing right now? He hasn’t said anything for a while!

**Mona** : I’m making sure Joker doesn’t get into one of his depressed moods after thinking about that shit.

**Anon** : Was what happened really that bad…?

 **Anon** : now I feel bad because of the other Anon

**Mona** : He’ll be fine. I’ll make sure of that.

**Anon** : are you sure you guys don’t need therapy or something? seriously you do not sound ok

 **Anon** : I’m with this anon here

**Rat** : It’s ok to have each other but please make sure that you get proper help if you need it!!!

**Oracle** : Do not worry, my dear Rat. We have our ways of dealing with these emotions, even if we sometimes have to force them out of each other!

**Anon** : but for real tho is he ok?? like i general

**Joker** : Yes

**Mona** : No.

**Oracle** : no

**ADMIN** : no

**Joker** : why do you forsake me

**Rat** : Don’t worry, I have some feel good memes!!!

 **Rat** : rattime.png

 **Rat** : cats.png

 **Rat** : dontfeelsad.png

 **Rat** : whatislove.gif

~~**Rat** : yosukesfuckindead.png ~~

**Joker** : w h a t

**Anon** : hey op WHAT THE FUCK

**Mona** : _WHAT?????_

**Rat** : ?

 **Rat** : OH

 **Rat** : UH

 **Rat** : YOU WEREnT’T SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT ONE

**Anon** : I LOOK AWAY FOR TWO SECONDS WHAT DID I MISS

 **Anon** : ???

**Oracle** : EXCUSE ME BUT _W H A T_

**Anon** : why’s everyone freaking out???

**Joker** : _WAS THAT THE FUCKING REAPER????_

**Okay since everyone’s going ballistic right now we’re just going to take an ad break :)**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the Rat has come forth~!
> 
> I'm really sorry if there's odd pacing or inconsistencies in any of the chapters! I'm trying my best to make sure things are going smoothly, but if it ends up being wonky then sorry D:
> 
> At any rate, thank you for the support so far! I've tried making some of the anons like previous Persona characters to show that they're watching and trying to get info on the Thieves (I'm hoping I made Rat like who he is so you probably know).
> 
> Someone said they wanted Violet added, and I originally wasn't going to add her for mainly because I don't really know her character well enough, but if enough people ask I can probably find a way to work her and maybe Royal in. I'm also still open to your thoughts on Scramble's characters and story, since so far only one person has talked about it.
> 
> these notes are getting long so i'm just gonna leave it at that for today
> 
> if you guys have interactions you want to see let me know too :D


	4. the slightly shorter chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon: what’s Admin up to right now?
> 
> ADMIN: lurking and filtering posts
> 
> Anon: that was a really quick response—
> 
> ADMIN: being on a computer almost every waking minute trains your fingers

_“They’re Persona users, then?”_

_“Yep! We might use beary different methods, but the Reaper is universal!”_

_“Very well. Try and figure out who they are. The police won’t let us view the file on Joker, so we’ll have to find them ourselves.”_

_“Understood!_

* * *

**~heart the thieves phantom~**

**what a bunch of jokers** : SO WE MIGHT HAVE A BIT OF AN ISSUE

**actual gremlin** :  screenshot.png 

**what a bunch of jokers** : RAT SENT THIS IMAGE AND WE DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

 **what a bunch of jokers** : WHY IS NO ONE ONLINE

 **what a bunch of jokers** : @everyone

 **what a bunch of jokers** : SEND HELP

**actual gremlin** : don’t worry i got this

**what a bunch of jokers** : PLEASE PLAY THE SOUND

**actual gremlin** : just wait a second and they’ll come flocking in

**b o n e s** : FUTABA WTF

 **b o n e s** : WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A MOVIE RIGHT NOW

**actual gremlin** : groupchat now movie later

**Nyoom** : What’s so important that you had to play some weird American song as loud as you could on all of our phones????

**what a bunch of jokers** : OH I DON’T KNOW

 **what a bunch of jokers** : MAYBE THE FACT THAT SOMEONE IN THE THOUGHTS AND THIEVES SENT AN IMAGE OF THE GODDAMN _REAPER_

**whipped cream** : WHAT

**b o n e s** : FOR REAL?!

**Fox** : How would they have obtained an image of the Reaper? Phones don’t work in the Metaverse.

**b o n e s** : THAT’S what you’re worried about!?

**Nyoom** : Do you have any idea on who sent it?

**actual gremlin** : I’m looking into Rat right now

 **actual gremlin** : There was also another person in the photo, so I’ll crop the image and search from that

 **actual gremlin** : At the very least I can get into contact with Rat, but figuring out who the photo dude is might take a little bit of time

**b o n e s** : You’re serious????

**Nyoom** : How’s Akira doing? He hasn’t said anything in a bit.

**nya~** : He’s currently having a crisis on the grass by a river

 **nya~** : FUTABA CHANGE MY NICKNAME BACK RIGHT NOW

**actual gremlin** : no

 **actual gremlin** : anyways can confirm Akira’s breaking down right now

**actual fluff** : What are we going to do about the chat though?

 **actual fluff** : People are gonna ask questions…

**nya~** : I swear to god someone please come over and help me deal with Akira he’s being extra dramatic again

**actual gremlin** : i got this

**b o n e s** : oh no

**what a bunch of jokers** : okay first off

 **what a bunch of jokers** : fuck you

 **what a bunch of jokers** : secondly

**whipped cream** : Welcome back

**what a bunch of jokers** : i’ll just say we had a technical error and to not ask questions

**b o n e s** : why does he always end up having the most level head right after breaking down…?

**whipped cream** : Who knows…

**what a bunch of jokers** : _anyways_ time to have mishima open chat up again

* * *

**Chat’s back :)**

**Joker** : sorry about that we had to take a minute

 **Joker** : any questions about what just happened will be ignored and deleted

**Anon** : Damn, he beat us to it

 **Anon** : Guess we’ll never know what caused the panic

 **Anon** : im very ocnfused

 **Anon** : confused

 **Anon** : dammit

**Oracle** : It’s okay, dear anon, you just sit behind your screen and conspirasize what happened

**Anon** : oracle wtf

**Skull** : we were in the middle of watching a movie when that happened so now we’re all here

**Anon** : oh sweet

 **Anon** : what kind of food is in your fridge

**Skull** : uhhh idk leftovers maybe??

**Panther** : There’s a lot of sweets in my fridge… more than I want to admit…

**Oracle** : curry.

**Fox** : Whatever I can afford.

**Anon** : god someone please fund fox

 **Anon** : Let’s start a page to donate to Fox

**Fox** : I assure you, I’m perfectly capable of getting enough money for my needs.

**Anon** : sure buddy just accept the yen already

**Noir** : We have just about anything in our fridges!

 **Noir** : And don’t worry, we feed Fox when we need to

**Anon** : you make it sound like he’s a cat lmao

**Skull** : I mean… his codename _is_ Fox…

**Fox** : Foxes are completely unrelated to cats.

**Anon** : where’d Mona and Joker go?

**Joker** : shh, you’re not supposed to notice

 **Joker** : we’re lurking

**Anon** : joker’s lurking in his own chat

 **Anon** : What happened to Rat?

**Joker** : idk

 **Joker** : they probably just left on their own

 **Joker** : we didn’t do anything to their status so

**Oracle** : Rat’s lurking

**Joker** : well then that answers that

**Rat** : !!

**Anon** : RAT

 **Anon** : Welcome back Rat

 **Anon** : still wish i had a special username

**Oracle** : So Rat…

 **Oracle** : About what you sent earlier…

 **Oracle** : :)

**Anon** : oh no

 **Anon** : is Oracle about to ddos a bitch or smth

**Rat** : Please don’t hack into my search history D:

**Oracle** : Don’t worry, I’ll just find your number and all your other information!

**Anon** : oracle’s scary when she wants to be jfc

**Skull** : trust me when I say this

 **Skull** : all the girls are scary in their own rights

**Fox** : Agreed.

**Anon** : isn’t that illegal

**Joker** : think about who you’re talking to for a second

**Anon** : nasty crimeboys and crimegals

**Joker** : that we are

**Anon** : who’s the nastiest crimeperson

**Skull** : joker

**Panther** : Joker

**Fox** : Joker.

**Oracle** : joker

**Mona** : Joker

**Queen** : Joker.

**Noir** : Joker!

**Joker** : me

**Anon** : jesus

 **Anon** : They all knew instantly lmao

 **Anon** : _The unity in their decision_

**Skull** : I mean, the dude’s literally been arrested 3 times

**Anon** : WAIT SERIOUSLY????

**Joker** : yep

 **Joker** : First was on a false assault charge

 **Joker** : second and third because of Phantom Thievery

**Anon** : holy shit

 **Anon** : Joker’s definitely nastiest crimeboy

 **Anon** : that’s badass as fuck wow

 **Anon** : _Dude_

**Joker** : I was even put into solitary confinement the third time :D

**Anon** : THE SMILEY FACE

 **Anon** : SOLITARY!?

 **Anon** : YO THE GOVERNMENT REALLY IS SCARED OF YOU

**Mona** : Don’t be fooled by the smiley, solitary _really_ messed him up for a good couple of months.

**Anon** : you really need therapy

 **Anon** : I’ll pay for it for you just _get some help my god_

 **Anon** : let’s start a petition to get the thieves therapy

**Joker** : mona why’d you out me like that

**Mona** : So they don’t get a false sense of cool from you.

**Joker** : fair enough

 **Joker** : anyways next question

**Anon** : what’s Admin up to right now?

**ADMIN** : lurking and filtering posts

**Anon** : that was a really quick response—

**ADMIN** : being on a computer almost every waking minute trains your fingers

**Anon** : trains your fingers omg

 **Anon** : We all know who doesn’t sleep for the thieves, but does _Admin_ sleep?

**ADMIN** : next question

**Anon** : SO HE DOESN’T SLEEP

**Joker** : can confirm he spends his nights modding the site by himself

 **Joker** : Oracle sometimes joins him but that’s usually like once a week

**Anon** : Not only do we have to force the Thieves to sleep, but Admin too???

 **Anon** : idk why everyone’s making such a big deal sleep is for the weak

**ADMIN** : Exactly

**Anon** : shut it Admin u like using text smileys

**ADMIN** : ………………………………………………………………………

 **ADMIN** : just gonna ctrl+alt+delete that—

**Anon** : ADMIN OH MY GOD

 **Anon** : hdalkjfsjkld

 **Anon** : wow

**Oracle** : ur doing great npc keep up the work

**ADMIN** : thank u i’ll do my best

**Anon** : wh

 **Anon** : Did Oracle just come in and encourage Admin

 **Anon** : DID ORACLE JUST CALL ADMIN NPC

**ADMIN** : yes she did

 **ADMIN** : i’m an npc in her questing

**Anon** : interesting

**Oracle** : time to get back to hacking all of Rat's devices

**Anon** : oh shit did she actually find his number

 **Anon** : ORACLE COME BACK WE NEED ANSWERS

 **Anon** : Oracle: my job here is done

 **Anon** : Anons: but you didn’t do anything

 **Anon** : Oracle: *leaves*

**Skull** : yeah that’s basically oracle for ya

**Joker** : i’m gonna just head out since i want food

**Anon** : c o n s u m e

 **Anon** : aight see you later Joker

**Skull** : see ya

**Anon** : Bye-bye!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok ok ok first of all I'm sorry for the late chapter update I've been playing P4G for the past week
> 
> secondly this chapter's a bit shorter since I was going to have a narrated written section to close it off (which I got stuck on for a bit) but it started getting long and I decided to split it into two, so I'll try to get the second part out as soon as possible which might even be later today but don't get your hopes up I'll because probably just wait until tomorrow
> 
> So basically next chapter's going to be more like a traditional story format, and I might put some T&T interaction but I'm still unsure about that
> 
> Anyways, thank you all so much for the support! It really does make me super happy to see that people enjoy this


	5. the one with the other thieves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skull: goddammit look at what you’ve done  
> Skull: you’ve unleashed Queen
> 
> Anon: the boat has sailed and we shall all die with it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i said this chapter was gonna be a narrative one but i lied

**Anon** : yo who has the most bread

**Skull** : uhhh

 **Skull** : probably Noir

**Noir** : Probably me!

**Anon** : k

 **Anon** : weird question but ok

 **Anon** : Do any of you play instruments?

**Panther** : I don’t think so

**Skull** : does the kazoo count?

**Anon** : of course, the kazoo is the mightiest instrument

**Fox** : If that’s the case, then I suppose all of us play an instrument. The kazoo.

**Anon** : Do you guys have like kazoo nights where you just play a bunch of random songs on kazoos

**Skull** : of course we do!

 **Skull** : We’ll bring out all of our kazoos, and sometimes we’d even bring them with us when we went on missions for when we got bored

 **Skull** : during those times we ended up making it a competition for who could scare Joker the most because _man_ he isn’t phased by anything

**Anon** : skull used the wrong faze

 **Anon** : back at it again with pointing out Skull’s errors

 **Anon** : rip

**Skull** : goddammit why can’t i have one mistake

**Anon** : Capitalize that I, sweetie.

**Skull** : Fuck you Anon

**Panther** : Don’t forget your punctuation!

**Skull** : PANTHER SHUT IT

**Anon** : what a lovely day to watch everything burn down around us

 **Anon** : Indeed

 **Anon** : let the discord begin

**Skull** : fuck you all

**Anon** : wait a minute

 **Anon** : *GASP*

 **Anon** : SKULL SAID THE FUCK WORD

 **Anon** : WHERE’S THE TEAM MOM WE NEED TO REPORT HIM

**Skull** : WHAT THE HELL MAN

**Panther** : @Queen  
  


 **Queen** : Do you need anything?

**Anon** : QUEEEEEEEEEENNNN SKULL SAID THE FUCK WORD

 **Anon** : QUEEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT SKULL

 **Anon** : THERE’S NO SWEARING IN THIS MINECRAFT SERVER

**Queen** : …

**Anon** : oh shit she brought out the …

 **Anon** : i got some popcorn, anyone want any?

 **Anon** : I’ll take some!

**Noir** : I don’t know how relevant this is, but Queen just stared at her screen before letting out a long sigh and mumbled, “Why is everyone like this?”

 **Noir** : She’s been typing for some time, too…

**Anon** : omg

 **Anon** : have we disappointed the Queen?

 **Anon** : someone’s about to get fried lmao

**Skull** : goddammit look at what you’ve done

 **Skull** : you’ve unleashed Queen

**Anon** : the boat has sailed and we shall all die with it

**Queen** : Skull, I thought you knew better. We all told you not to say it. You knew. We tried to warn you, not to say the Fuck word, but you did it anyways. You did it, and now we will all soon suffer the consequences. Things will start tearing apart slowly, but soon enough there will be rifts to other dimensions and enemies all over the place. Soon this world will be nothing because you decided to say the Fuck word.

**Anon** : what did I just read

 **Anon** : eXCUSE ME???

 **Anon** : QUEEN WTF

 **Anon** : HEY YO MIND EXPLAINING WHAT THE FUCK I JUST WITNESSED?

 **Anon** : is

 **Anon** : is queen a secret shitposter

 **Anon** : SHE IS A TRUE QUEEN

**Noir** : Queen is a secret memer~! Whenever she finds something new, she’ll show it to me as soon as possible!

 **Noir** : She doesn’t like to admit it, but when she does pull out her arsenal, she’ll usually stun the others for a good 10 minutes at least.

**Anon** : queen truly is a powerful being

 **Anon** : ALL HAIL QUEEN

**ADMIN** : never did i believe that i’d witness Queen type something like that in my life

**Anon** : HI ADMIN :D

 **Anon** : holy shit she even brought Admin out of the shadows

**ADMIN** : listen if you knew who Queen was in person you would be shocked too

**Anon** : is it common for Queen to stun the thieves like this?

**Noir** : Not entirely. She usually saves it so she can get the best reaction out of the others!

**Anon** : you’re pretty unfazed by this Noir

**Noir** : I’m just used to it, that’s all!

**Anon** : puoeahfdsjk

 **Anon** : Can any of you dance?

**Panther** : Everyone but Skull can dance

**Anon** : and the first to recover is Panther

**Panther** : actually that would be Fox

 **Panther** : in fact he, Noir and Mona are the only ones who aren’t affected by Queen

**Anon** : who’s the best dancer?

**Noir** : Joker!

**Panther** : Joker

**Fox** : Joker’s dancing skills are surprisingly good. Though I suppose it fits him, given his personality.

**Anon** : of course it’s Joker

 **Anon** : How’d all of you meet?

**Panther** : Joker and I first met when it was raining since we were both standing under the same awning.

**Skull** : i met him after panther left and that was when we accidentally discovered the way we steal hearts

 **Skull** : turns out we ended up stuck there for most of the day

**Panther** : No kidding

**Fox** : We met because I had asked Panther to be a model for an art piece.

**Anon** : man it’s times like these when I wish we could know what you guys do

**Skull** : sorry anon, we can’t risk outing our methods

**Queen** : I had actually figured out who they were and joined them because of a target I requested.

**Skull** : she was scary as hell when she came with us

 **Skull** : oh yeah, Joker and I found Mona the same day we first met in the heart stealing place

**Noir** : I had accidentally come with them for one of their targets, though it turned out to be a good thing!

**Panther** : Noir’s a scary asset to the team…

 **Panther** : Oh yeah, we also met Oracle through a request of hers too

 **Panther** : At first it was just a deal where we would take her request’s heart and she would deal with Medjed, but it ended up being more than that

**Skull** : we’d literally be dead if Oracle didn’t join the team

**Anon** : _dude_

 **Anon** : oh yeah you did say that she was your navigator

 **Anon** : What’s everyone up to now?

**Skull** : we didn’t finish the movie we were watching so we’re all just hanging out right now

 **Skull** : Oracle’s probably still hacking Rat

 **Skull** : idk about Joker or Mona

 **Skull** : man Joker’s gonna be disappointed he missed Queen in action

**Anon** : how do you guys deal with wrong number calls?

**Panther** : For our normal numbers? We just ignore them

**Anon** : Nomal numbers???

 **Anon** : Normal*

**Panther** : Oracle managed to set our phones up with two numbers

 **Panther** : If someone calls our regular one, we ignore it

 **Panther** : If someone calls the other one though…

**Skull** : we tell ‘em who we are :)

**Anon** : you _what_

 **Anon** : Excuse me?

**Skull** : when someone calls the second number, we tell them what member of the Thieves we are

**Noir** : It automatically distorts our voices so no one can tell! It’s rather fun to hear people’s reactions.

 **Noir** : There have also been some interesting conversations that sprung from it.

**Anon** : …

 **Anon** : you guys _openly tell people who you are_

 **Anon** : The madlads and madlasses

 **Anon** : You realize the hell you just unleashed upon yourselves now

 **Anon** : People are gonna go on a number hunt now for your secondary numbers

 **Anon** : It’s gonna get posted all over the internet

 **Anon** : Your phones will blow up

**Skull** : eh, it’ll be fine

 **Skull** : Oracle can just change the number if she needs to

**Anon** : fair enough

 **Anon** : Do any of you have your kazoos on you right now?

**Skull:** kazoo.png 

**Skull** : always.

**Anon** : a fantastic kazoo

 **Anon** : People are gonna make “Skull’s Kazoo” merch now

 **Anon** : I’m giving it a week

**Panther** : oh boy

**Anon** : Ooo! I have a question!!

 **Anon** : What’s everyone’s hobbies?

 **Anon** : We know Joker’s, but what about yours?

**Skull** : playing video games and shit

**Panther** : I enjoy baking from time to time

**Noir** : Gardening!

**Fox** : Painting.

**Queen** : I do Aikido.

**Anon** : and Admin?

**ADMIN** : you want to know my hobbies?

**Anon** : Yeah, let’s learn about Admin!

 **Anon** : you might not be a member but you’re still here so you shall suffer with them

**ADMIN** : Fair enough

 **ADMIN** : most of the time I spend modding the Site, but when I’m not doing that I actually write

 **ADMIN** : There’s one project I’m working on that only Joker knows about, but I’m hoping that it’ll turn out good when I finish it

**Anon** : Make sure you take care of yourself!!

 **Anon** : that applies to everyone. if you do not take care of yourselves we have an army to make you do so.

**Skull** : sorry, but we already got Mona nagging at us

 **Skull** : I think we’re good

**Anon** :  skullzooshirt.png 

**Anon** : you were saying

 **Anon** : HOLY SHIT SOMEONE ACTUALLY MADE THAT PICTURE OF SKULL’S KAZOO INTO A SHIRT

 **Anon** : I thought it would be a week

 **Anon** : I was wrong

**Skull** : people are real crazy sometimes.

**Queen** : Congratulations, Skull, you have your own merchandise now.

**Anon** : aufhjdskjhf

 **Anon** : hi Queen

**Queen** : Hello, Anon :)

**Anon** : SHE SMILE :D

 **Anon** : Admin I have an important question

**ADMIN** : ?

**Anon** : _do you have the cheese_

**ADMIN** : Who do you think I am

 **ADMIN** : _of course I have the cheese_

**Anon** : _good_

 **Anon** : what

 **Anon** : Who needs the cheese?

 **Anon** : cheemse

 **Anon** : Fox hasn’t said much, has he?

**Skull** : he’s been too busy sketching the city to care

**Anon** : sounds about right

**Fox** : The city truly does have beautiful aspects to it, though it’s a shame there aren’t many places where I can look for nature references.

**Anon** : F

 **Anon** : F

 **Anon** : F

 **Anon** : F

 **Anon** : f

 **Anon** : F

 **Anon** : F

**Skull** : F

**Anon** : F

 **Anon** : f

 **Anon** : f

 **Anon** : F

 **Anon** : F

**Panther** : F

**Queen** : I think it’s about time we get back to being people rather than sit on the chat for the rest of the day.

**Skull** : aw :(

**Fox** : Fine by me.

**Anon** : fox u were barely on anyways

 **Anon** : damn guess this means chat’s closing then

**Panther** : Oh yeah, I need to get home anyways

 **Panther** : It was fun talking!

**Noir** : Indeed! I may have been more of a lurker, but I still enjoyed it!

**Anon** : noir continues to be the sweetest thing to exist

 **Anon** : Bye, everyone!

**Skull** : cya

**ADMIN** **has closed off chat. Enjoy your evening!**

* * *

  
  
**Joker** : I can’t believe I missed Queen in action

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHTY SO
> 
> Originaly I was gonna have this be narrative, but then I decided not to, so I basically have an entire chapter written but I need to figure out when I'm gonna use it
> 
> Also, someone asked about Akechi and I'm not sure how many people saw what I said in response so I'm just gonna say it again here: I'm still not entirely sure how I want to include him in this, or if I even want to, but I do have a couple of ideas in my head that I could do if I do put him in. I do at least have plans for the Thieves to explain what happened when they last encountered him at some point during this
> 
> Rat will be revealed soon enough :)
> 
> that's all i got so keep on vibing


	6. honorary thief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NPC 2: if you throw up on me I will personally send you back to the hell you came from
> 
> Joker: please do
> 
> NPC 2: wait you’re not supposed to want that  
> NPC 2: in that case I’ll drag you up to be judged by God
> 
> Joker: FUCK GOD  
> Joker: WHAT HAS HE EVER DONE FOR US EXCEPT ERASE US FROM EXISTENCE, GAVE US PTSD AND TRY TO FUCK US OVER MORE THAN ONCE

**~Direct Messages: Rat~**

**Oracle** : :)

**Rat** : Who’s this I wonder?

**Oracle** : you know exactly who i am you little rat

**Oracle** : you knew I was coming

**Oracle** : Anyways, first things first: What the hell’s the security on your phone?

**Oracle** : This is some top-tier stuff, the kind of thing you see only on experienced programmer and/or hacker’s devices

**Oracle** : Secondly, why did you have a picture of the Reaper on your phone? How did you even get it?

**Rat** : I’m afraid I can’t say much about the Reaper, Ora~chan

**Rat** : However! I can at least tell you who did my phone’s security~!

**Rat** : Do you know the hacker Lucia?

**Oracle** : you’re shitting me

**Oracle** : no way

**Oracle** : no fucking way

**Rat** : Yes way! Lucia~chan’s a good friend of some other friends of mine!

**Oracle** : suddenly you have much more respect from me than before

**Oracle** : ANYWAYS

**Oracle** : You’re not gonna give me anything to work with?

**Oracle** : I could always just go on a manhunt for the person getting destroyed by the Reaper in that image

**Rat** : You’ll have to figure me out on your own!

**Rat** : Though, we might be able to strike a deal :)

**Oracle** : how dare you use the smiley against me

**Rat** : If you reveal who you are, I might reveal who I am in return!

**Rat** : If not, then you’ll just have to use your skills and figure it out on your own.

**Oracle** : pretty sure Joker’d kick my ass if I told you who we were upfront

**Rat** : Then it seems we can’t make this a deal

**Rat** : Oh well! You know my number, so now you can send whatever you want, add me to groupchats, or whatever else you desire :)

**Oracle** : ok that’s enough from you

**Oracle** : goodday

* * *

**~Thoughts and Thieves~**

**ADMIN hasth opened the chat up once again :)**

**Mona** : I’ve come to make an announcement

**Mona** : Joker just walked face first into a wall because he wasn’t fully awake

**Mona** : It made the loudest _THUNK_ I’d ever heard and he probably was knocked out for a good 10 minutes after

**Anon** : WELL GOOD MORNING TO YOU TOO

**Anon** : is Joker okay D:

**Anon** : dumbass lmao

**Mona** : Eh, he’ll probably be fine

**Mona** : There’s been worse

**Anon** : mona has learned to not give a fuck

**Mona** : With this group of idiots? Of course I have

**Anon** : who hurt you mona

**Anon** : who made you this way

**Mona** : The circumstances of my creation.

**Anon** : Creation???

**Anon** : pujfhsdjfjhkdf

**Anon** : same energy as that one thing where it’s like “I didn’t give you permission to birth me” or something like that idk

**Anon** : Who else is up?

**Oracle** : me

**Oracle** : i’ve been sending rat shitty ifunny memes for the past hour and a half

**Joker** : hheflklo

**Anon** : HE RISES

**Joker** : hello

**Joker** : i had a storke

**Joker** : stroke

**Joker** : dammit

**Anon** : oh boy oh boy morning Joker has come

**Anon** : Good morning all!

**Noir** : Good morning to you too, Anon!

**Anon** : !!

**Anon** : NOIR SAID GOOD MORNING TO ME :D

**Anon** : oracle wtf is this shit you’re sending rat

**Anon** : it’s terrible what the hell

**Oracle** : that’s the point

**Oracle** : Also you wouldn’t happen to be with him right now would you? :)

**Anon** : rip to the other anon

**Anon** : Oracle has her next target spotted

**Anon** : nah i’m not next to him i’m just one of his contacts

**Oracle** : I have you marked Anon so you best be careful with what you say :)

**Marked Anon** : will do

**Marked Anon** : …

**Anon** : phuidfhsalkjfd

**Anon** : good job Oracle

**Rat** : I have a name friend now :D

**Marked Anon** : can it you stupid rat

**Anon** : discord among the anons

**Anon** : Mona did you record Joker slamming into a wall

**Mona** : I should’ve but I didn’t

**Anon** : rip

**Anon** : Damn

**Mona** : I wouldn’t even be able to show it anyways so you didn’t lose anything

**Anon** : Damn x2

**Anon** : good morning one and all today i present you with the question of who would win an arm wrestling championship between the eight of you

**Joker** : Noir or Skull

**Noir** : Skull!

**Skull** : Noir probably

**Mona** : Noir

**Panther** : Skull

**Anon** : ooo it’s a split vote

**Anon** : you fools, you fell into my trap! now you have to see who would win between you two!

**Noir** : Would you like to do that, Skull? :D

**Skull** : yeah uh I’d rather not have my arm broken thanks

**Anon** : do it do it do it

**Anon** : c’mooooooonnnnnnn Skull! You can’t just leave us waiting like this!

**Skull** : I can and I will

**Anon** : Quick guys peer pressure Skull into doing this

**Skull** : that’s my queue to leave and ignore everything you guys say

**Anon** : SKULL COME ON

**Anon** : What’s the worst that could happen?

**Anon** : Skull if you do not do this I will personally take the 3 hour train ride back to Tokyo and arm wrestle you myself to get you to go against Noir and I’m taking Joker with me

**Panther** : …wait a second

**Anon** : Oracle can fact check who I am to know that can and will do that

**Joker** : wait why are you dragging me with you

**Anon** : who tf is this anon

**Anon** : Because you’re the only other human being here that actually knows where to find Skull

**Oracle** : can confirm that that Anon’s one of Panther’s friends

**Panther** : WAIT REALLY

**Panther** : I DIDN’T KNOW YOU CHECKED THE SITE

**Anon** : w h o m s t

**Anon** : an Anon knows the thieves???

**Anon** : bro what

**Panther’s Friend** : of course I know the thieves I went to school with at least half of them +Admin

**Panther’s Friend** : also if you’re going to separate me give me like an actual codename or something cuz “panther’s friend” sounds dumb

**Anon** : oh damn

**Anon** : Straight for the kill

**Oracle** : sorry I don’t know anything about you so I can’t pick your codename

**Oracle** : also you’re not an actual member so it’d be a nickname not a codename

**NPC** : good enough for me

**NPC** : i thought Admin was the NPC

**Oracle** : well you’re more of one now than him so

**Panther** : Joker can we decide a proper codename for her pleeeaassseeee

**Joker** : we kind of have to or else she’s going to start harassing me every day until we do

**Anon** : OwO?

**Anon** : codename rights have been given

**Anon** : Guess we’ll see how they decide codenames then

**NPC 2** : :)

**Joker** : @everyone

**Joker** : get over here

**Joker** : we’re making a codename for Panther’s friend before she beheads me

**Joker** : what do we got

**Skull** : does she still like volleyball? maybe something like Coach or something

**NPC 2** : pass

**Queen** : Why are you doing this right now? You have school in 20 minutes

**Joker** : …

**Joker** : sHIT I GOTTA SPRINT TO THE SCHOOL I’LL BE BACK IN 5 MINUTES

**Anon** : go joker go

**Anon** : ZOOM

**Anon** : and there he goes off into the sunrise

**Anon** : everyone else went silent

**NPC 2** : that’s because they’re all idiots

**NPC 2** : jokes on them I live right by my school so I’m already there

**Noir** : Queen and I are in college, and our classes are in the afternoon!

**Mona** : guys help joker’s running too fast

**Mona** : MONA SHUT IT I’M NOT GONNA BE LATE

**Anon** : what

**Mona** : YOU IDIOT YOUR VOICE GOT CAUGHT IN THE MIC

**Mona** : WELL I’M SORRY YOU DIDN’T TURN IT OFF

**Anon** : ?????

**Anon** : i’m so confused???

**Oracle** : goddammit mona why didn’t you turn the device OFF

**Anon** : Why can’t Mona type?

**Oracle** : don’t worry about it

**Anon** : is Mona that weird cat thing that was in your group silhouette for Shido’s calling card

**Anon** : Mona secretly a cat confirmed

**Anon** : speaking of Shido’s calling card, who’s who in it?

**Oracle** : we’ll leave that to you to decide

**Anon** : We already know Mona is the weird short thing

**Anon** : Joker’s the one in the middle, obviously

**Anon** : Other than that…

**Marked Anon** : my bet’s on Skull being the dude that stood next to Joker at that one point in the calling card

**Anon** : Does anyone actually have the video for that?

**Oracle** :  dearshithead.mp4 

**Oracle** : merry christmas

**Anon** : Thank you Oracle

**Anon** : ok so we already have Joker and Mona

**Anon** : I gotta agree with the Marked Anon on Skull being the one dude

**Anon** : noir’s gotta be the one on the far left with the feather hat

**Anon** : Definitely, it has her aesthetic

**Anon** : we got half the thieves down

**Marked Anon** : Panther’s probably the one with the skinny tail

**Marked Anon** : cuz you know

**Marked Anon** : cat

**NPC 2** : can confirm panther’s the one with the skinny tail and puffy hair

**Anon** : makes sense

**Anon** : That means Fox is probably the other one with a tail?

**Anon** : imagine we’re completely off lmao

**NPC 2** : actually from all I know you’re absolutely correct

**Anon** : We gotta figure out two more

**Anon** : Queen’s gotta be the one with the cape

**Anon** : her posture just _screams_ “Queen”

**Joker** : I MADE IT

**Joker** : MY STOMACH HURTS BUT I MADE IT

**Anon** : congratulations, Joker, you proceeded with daily life

**Anon** : Please don’t throw up in class Joker

**Joker** : if i do i’ll direct it at panther’s friendo here

**Joker** : or Mona

**NPC 2** : if you throw up on me I will personally send you back to the hell you came from

**Joker** : _please do_

**NPC 2** : wait you’re not supposed to want that

**NPC 2** : in that case I’ll drag you up to be judged by God

**Joker** : FUCK GOD

**Joker** : WHAT HAS HE EVER DONE FOR US EXCEPT ERASE US FROM EXISTENCE, GAVE US PTSD AND TRY TO FUCK US OVER MORE THAN ONCE

**Skull** : EXACTLY

**Skull** : GOD WAS A SHITHEAD

**Anon** : Excuse me _what?_

**Anon** : …Are—Are you guys okay? Like, at all?

**Panther** : Fading from existence was the most unpleasant feeling ever. Even worse than… yeah

**Anon** : As in do you guys actually need help?

**Anon** : what the _fuck_

**Joker** : don’t worry we did end up getting better and I got to shoot god in the face with literal Satan

**Joker** : that was the highlight of my Christmas

**Anon** : I am 100% serious we need to get you guys some proper outlet because that is not okay—

**Fox** : I don’t believe any therapist could possibly fathom the things that we’ve gone through.

**Anon** : fOX THAT’S NOT THE POINT

**Joker** : alright we need to figure out codename

**Joker** : @everyone

**Joker** : who’s here

**Skull** : me

**Panther** : Present!

**Skull** : this isn’t attendance

**Anon** : HOLD UP WE ARE NOT DROPPING THIS TOPIC

**Joker** : we can and we will

**Joker** : No more questions about our traumatic experiences. Oracle and Admin will delete those for the time being, as none of us would like to talk about it.

**Anon** : GODDAMMIT JOKER

**Anon** : >:(

**Anon** : fine we’ll talk about this later then

**Queen** : I’m here.

**Oracle** : you already know i exist

**Fox** : I am also here.

**Anon** : guess we’ll just have to deal with this later >:/

**Noir** : Hello everyone!

**Queen** : Also, one last thing on the previous topic: While it might not be the best way to go about this, we’re all managing to find our own ways to get past what happened and to cope. It’s not the most efficient, but we’re going at our own pace and are here for each other when we need it.

**Anon** : You will get proper treatment at some point, whether you like it or not. For now, we’ll drop the subject though.

**NPC 2** : joker already knows I’m here

**Chat has been disabled for Anons so you get to witness this discussion in its full glory :)**

**Joker** : alrighty so let’s just get first suggestions out of the way

**Noir** : Since she’s more like an honorary Phantom Thief, why not Spectre? She’s always there, but never seen~

**NPC 2** : pass. too much of a reminder of what could’ve happened

**Noir** : Oh! I’m sorry if that brought back bad memories D:

**NPC 2** : S’all good, your reasoning was pretty solid

**Oracle** : maybe terra or something?

**Oracle** : idk, i know next to nothing about npc 2

**Oracle** : she seems like the type of person to be down-to-earch

**NPC 2** : nope

**NPC 2** : pass

**Joker** : trust me her ideas are just as dumb as the rest of ours

**NPC 2** : I disagree but go off

**Queen** : How about Luna?

**NPC 2** : better, but still not what I like

**NPC 2** : pass

**Mona** : Oo! I have one! What about Lion? I mean, Panther’s Panther, and Lion’s another type of fierce feline!

**NPC 2** : Pass

**NPC 2** : seems weird to call me that

**NPC 2** : are you always this bad at picking codenames?

**Skull** : Hey! It’s hard when you don’t have something like an outfit to go off of!

**Queen** : That would’ve barely helped you. You wanted to call me Shoulder Pads.

**Oracle** : how does it feel skull

**Oracle** : getting called out in front of the entire internet

**Skull** : can it Oracle!

**Joker** : How about Scholar? You and Admin could be our information outlets.

**NPC 2** : Scholar, huh?

**NPC 2** : I kinda like it actually

**NPC 2** : yeah Let’s go with that

**Joker** : Great. Oracle, would you please?

**Oracle** : Already done!

**Scholar** : ?

**Scholar** : sweet

**Joker** : Welcome as an honorary Phantom Thief, Scholar.

**Fox** : Scholar has a nice ring to it. A person who is extremely knowledgeable in one or more subjects…

**Queen** : Now that that’s done, I believe class should be starting any minute for you if not already. Say your goodbyes to chat and pay attention.

**Oracle** : shit i have to listen to you know that i’m in school as well

**Oracle** : cya later normies

**Joker** : that’s my queue to leave before queen personally hands my ass to me on a silver platter for not listening

***It would seem chat’s been closed entirely for now. Maybe you filthy Anons will be able to make your comments later...** **:)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm adding shiho because i can. her codename is scholar and she's also in inaba with the idiot
> 
> I was gonna have something else in this chapter too but it was getting lengthy. Anyways we got to 10k words :D
> 
> aLSO I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE PAST FEW BIRTHDAY KIDS D:
> 
> ...I feel like I was gonna put more but I can't remember sO I'm just gonna leave it at that thank you all for reading


	7. the one where scholar steals joker's phone for 5 minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon: please don’t burn your houses down
> 
> Joker: if Skull can manage to not cause a power outage for a week I think Panther will be fine
> 
> Skull: I THOUGHT WE AGREED NOT TO TALK ABOUT THAT

**Chat’s been reopened! :D**

**Anon** : who knew skull was so terrible at naming things

**Anon** : ngl that wasn’t as exciting as I hoped

**Anon** : “down-to-earch”

**Anon** : hey is Scholar ok

**Scholar** : yeah

**Anon** : aight then

**Oracle** : oh yeah, i have to put the filter on her phone

**Oracle** : i’ll send it to u so you have to install it yourself

**Scholar** : sweet

**Anon** : filter?

**Anon** : What do you need a filter for?

**Oracle** : it’s so none of us accidentally send something that could compromise our methods or identities

**Oracle** : for example if someone were to type out one of our names it’s automatically change it to our codename when it sent

**Oracle** : or if there’s a keyword in there that involves how we changed hearts it’ll give a popup saying “hey you shouldn’t send that”

**Oracle** : only way to bypass that is to get a randomized code that’s sent to Joker

**Anon** :  interesting.png 

**Anon** : Who’s almost sent something they shouldn’t have the most?

**Anon** : call them out!

**Oracle** : lemme check

**Oracle** : ...joker what the fuck

**Oracle** : 78 times????

**Joker** : you have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to complain about our methods being closed off

**Oracle** : make that 79 christ

**Anon** : WAIT JOKER’S THE ONE???

**Anon** : I would’ve expected Skull…

**Scholar** : joker i knew you were stupid but not that stupid

**Joker** : now listen here you little shit

**Oracle** : i’m pretty sure all of us would’ve expected skull… he is second though

**Anon** : this is a callout post

**Anon** : it’s going up on twitter

**Anon** : there it goes

**Anon** : Now Joker can live on as the thief dumb enough to want to complain to the entire world

**Joker** : silence, anon

**Anon** : is Mona with you?

**Joker** : yes he is

**Joker** : his device is dead though so he’s not tlaking

**Joker** : talking

**Joker** : fuck

**Anon** : tlaking

**Anon** : tlkaing

**Anon** : tlaking

**Anon** : tlaking

**Anon** : tlaking

**Anon** : One of the anons misspelled the misspell

**Anon** : Which one of yous was it

**Anon** : not me

**Marked Anon** : I was gonna say it wasn’t be but then remembered that it couldn’t be me because I’m _marked_

**Oracle** : owo

**Anon** : rip marked anon

**Anon** : oracle nO

**Oracle** : _OwO_

**Anon** : oh god

**Anon** : UWU

**Oracle** : ewe

**Anon** : stop

**Anon** : qwq

**Anon** : oAo

**Anon** : QuQ

**Joker** : ovo

**Scholar** : Joker I will come over to your location and break your kneecaps if you join this.

**Joker** : OvO

**Scholar** : that’s it

**Anon** : oh boy oh boy time to watch joker get slaughtered

**Oracle** : Sorry, Anon, but I’ll be the only one to watch Joker dying tonight

**Joker** : shit she’s actually coming isn’t she

**Joker** : guess i’ll die

**Anon** : can we get an F in the chat for Joker

**Anon** : F

**Marked Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : f

**Anon** : f

**Anon** : F

**Oracle** : F

**ADMIN** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : f

**Anon** : F

**Skull** : F

**Anon** : F

**Anon** : yo Skull

**Anon** : the bone man has come

**Anon** : b o n e s

**Anon** : So do any of you know any other languages?

**Skull** : Panther knows English for the most part

**Oracle** : yes

**Oracle** : also i think fox also knows some weird language

**Oracle** : latin maybe?

**Anon** : what language do you know Oracle?

**Oracle** : English and Russain

**Oracle** : for the memes :)

**Anon** : oracle you absolute madlass

**Anon** : Wait you learned an entire language for _memes_?

**Oracle** : yep

**Anon** : wow

**Oracle** : when u used to be a shut-in with as much free time as you wanted u get bored

**Anon** : pouhdsfjkhh

**Anon** : Oracle truly is a meme queen

**Oracle** : that i am

**Joker** : WHATS UP BITCHES

**Joker** : I STOLE JOKERS PHONE AND NOW HES CHASING ME THROUGH THE STREETS

**Anon** : WH????

**Anon** : IS THAT SCHOLAR?

**Skull** : SCHOLAR HOW DID YOU EVEN GET HIS PHONE HE’S LIKE SUPER ON GUARD ALL THE TIME

**Joker** : YES

**Joker** : OH SHIT HES CATCHING UP

**Joker** : WTF

**Oracle** : and there goes scholar

**Anon** : scholar is my new favorite

**Anon** : for someone who isn’t even an actual thief Scholar’s got the same amount of braincells as one

**Oracle** : we all have a collective two braincells

**Oracle** : most of the time queen’s got them

**Skull** : Pretty much

**Skull** : but uh

**Skull** : is Scholar okay?

**Oracle** : probably

**Anon** : scholar stole the leader’s phone

**Anon** : what a time to be on

**Anon** : Feels bad for the people who didn’t witness that

**Anon** : are any of you guys related?

**Oracle** : nope

**Skull** : we’re all just a group of outcasts who made friends with each other

**Anon** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Skull** : NO

**Oracle** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Skull** : STOP

**Anon** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Anon** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Anon** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Anon** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Marked Anon** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Skull** : WHY

**Anon** : watching you suffer is enjoyable

**Anon** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Scholar** : so was anyone gonna tell me joker’s eyes sometimes turned red or was i supposed to figure that out on my own

**Anon** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Anon** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Scholar** : because let me tell you it scared the _shit_ out of me when I looked over and suddenly his eyes were glowing like the flames of hell

**Anon** : _what_

**Anon** : Hol’ up

**Skull** : wait you can see Joker’s eyes change?

**Anon** : D E M O N

**Joker** : thank you

**Scholar** : yes? am i not supposed to?

**Anon** : ???

**Marked Anon** : ok that’s a bit freaky ngl

**Anon** : joker has the sharingan confirmed

**Joker** : I mean…

**Anon** : wait that was a joke

**Anon** : you don’t seriously have that do you

**Joker** : No, I don’t

**Joker** : but it’s similar only in the aspect that it’s an ability and it changes my eyes to red

**Joker** : though no one ever pointed it out so we all just assumed that no one else but us could see it

**Scholar** : oh

**Joker** : It’s probably related to a specific thing that I can’t talk about

**ADMIN** : actually I’ve also seen Joker’s eyes do that

**Joker** : ok so yeah I think I know why

**Anon** : you think?

**Joker** : yep

**Joker** : can’t say though

**Anon** : damn

**Anon** : Oracle did he almost just explain his theory

**Oracle** : surprisingly no

**Joker** : you guys are really gonna keep checking me now huh

**Anon** : you dug your grave

**Anon** : _NOW LIE IN IT_

**Joker** : aight fair enough

**Skull** : So anyways anyone got any questions?

**Anon** : [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXQwx1EolD8 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXQwx1EolD8)

**Skull** : that’s not a question

**Anon** : i’m asking where rat is

**Oracle** : not here

**Oracle** : next

**Anon** : Did you ever actually figure out who Rat is?

**Anon** : EXPOSE THE RAT’S SEARCH HISTORY

**Oracle** : 1. I didn’t because his phone’s security is actually really damn good, and he’s also somehow friends with another hacker named Lucia

**Oracle** : 2. don’t worry i got screenshots

**Oracle** :  exposetherat1.png 

**Oracle** :  exposetherat2.png 

**Anon** : damn he’s actually got a clean slate

**Anon** : _he must use incognito_

**Anon** : What’s Fox up to?

**Fox** : Currently just lurking the chat while waiting for Noir. We made plans to hang out for the day, and I’m ready a bit early.

**Anon** : Anything specific you got going on?

**Anon** : hangouts are always fun :>

**Fox** : For the most part, we just plan on wandering around the city and getting something to eat.

**Fox** : We do plan on going somewhere for a little bit though so I can do some sketching.

**Skull** : That sounds like something you two would do

**Anon** : so fox, when was the last time you ate something?

**Anon** : …are we making another callout post

**Anon** : _Do we need to feed the Fox_

**Fox** : I assure you, I ate something this morning.

**Oracle** : coffee doesn’t count as food

**Fox** : …

**Anon** : oracle how can we fund fox

**Anon** : How is Fox so poor when you guys are like, thieves???

**Marked Anon** : how _is_ Fox so poor?

**Oracle** : because whenever we try to give him money directly he’ll either refuse until we give up or immediately buy more art supplies or something unessential

**Oracle** : unless we take him out or give him something specifically for him to eat he won’t accept our money to buy food

**Oracle** : we have to stock his fridge for him and yet he _still_ barely eats because “what if i want it later?” or some bullshit

**Fox** : I have perfectly valid reasons for conserving my food.

**Anon** : who hurt you, Fox

**Anon** : who made you think conserving food this much was good or necessary

**Anon** : SERIOUSLY

**Fox** : A deplorable man who is now rotting behind bars in prison.

**Anon** : _damn_

**Anon** : Sweet we don’t have to murder him then

**Anon** : i was gonna get my arson tools out too :(

**Joker** : there’s no need for arson we took care of him

**Joker** : though if we needed it Panther would probably be able to handle the arson part

**Anon** : …………okay???

**Anon** : c o n c e r n

**Anon** : Wait why would she have arson at her disposal

**Joker** : methods

**Anon** : _Ah_

**Anon** : that makes sense

**Anon** : What did you do that would require _arson_?

**Skull** : We never actually needed arson specifically

**Skull** : She’s just good with fire

**Marked Anon** : makes sense to me

**Anon** : is she a pyromaniac

**Skull** : At this point probably

**Anon** : o.o

**Anon** : please don’t burn your houses down

**Joker** : if Skull can manage to not cause a power outage for a week I think Panther will be fine

**Skull** : I THOUGHT WE AGREED NOT TO TALK ABOUT THAT

**Anon** : wait _what_

**Anon** : How has Skull caused power outages????

**Anon** : _??????_

**Joker** : he used to cause 4 a week back when we first started

**Joker** : it was honestly pretty funny with how flustered he’d get

**Skull** : YEAH AND LIKE YOU WERE ANY BETTER

**Skull** : YOU WERE REGULARLY TRIPPING OVER YOUR OWN SHADOW LIKE AN IDIOT

**Anon** : whatthefuck

**Anon** : Confusion??

**Joker** : oh yeah Panther also constantly kept burning the hems of her clothing on accident

**Anon** : joker deflecting skull like a pro

**Anon** : Burning clothes sucks.

**Anon** : Joker how do you trip on your own shadow

**Joker** : moving on

**Anon** : jOKER-

**Anon** : PFOJHDSJKF

**Anon** : ANSWER THE QUESTION, JOKER

**Joker** : _moving on_

**Skull** : YEAH JOKER ANSWER THE QUESTION

**Oracle** : this is getting good

**Anon** : Oracle probably has popcorn while watching this

**Anon** : you know what at this point i’m done questioning the thieves

**Joker** : oracle you do realize i could tell them about your misadventures right

**Oracle** : do that and you’re banned from t&t

**Anon** : I JUST SPIT OUT MY DRINK

**Anon** : Oracle can do that???

**Oracle** : technically no, but with a little probing into the files it should be easy

**Joker** : you wouldn’t

**Joker** : actually yes you would

**Scholar** : when did Panther burn her clothes wtf

**Scholar** : how dare you not tell me about this

**Joker** : sorry

**Anon** : where’d Fox go

**Anon** : Noir probably got to him if I were to guess

**Anon** : Or he’s just lurking

**Oracle** : nah he got off a little bit ago

**Oracle** : skull get ur switch and come over

**Skull** : why??

**Oracle** : because i said so

**Anon** : aw are you leaving us :(

**Oracle** : yes and i’m taking down joker with me just so he doesn’t say anything while i’m not looking

**rip chat, closed by oracle.**

**Joker** : you realize i can still type right

  
**Oracle** : not the point now shut up before i play all star from your phone at max volume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just think the idea of persona's affinities transferring to the user is neat
> 
> So the people who can see Joker's eyes change to red are other Persona users and his confidants. Shiho's a confidant he made in Inaba even though his whole thing is over because I said so. Her Arcana is Adjustment
> 
> once again I can't remember what I was gonna say so I'm just gonna post the update lol


	8. noir puts smiley faces on her flower pots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon: “infiltration tools”?  
> Anon: Oooo a look into what the thieves use!  
> Anon: joker made this shit at his desk… what a madlad
> 
> Joker: Lockpicks, smokebombs, goho-ms, literal bombs, you name it
> 
> Anon: excuse me WHAT  
> Anon: YOU MADE BOMBS IN YOUR SCHOOL DESK???  
> Anon: The fuck’s a “goho-m”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I'm not dead yet!!!

**Skull** : I wish i could open chat

**Skull** : That way we didn’t have to rely on admin or oracle to do it

**ADMIN** : you could’ve just asked for those perms you know

**Skull** : Asking’s too much effort

**ADMIN** : guess i won’t give you them then

**ADMIN opened chat since Skull’s bored even though we’re all in the middle of class.**

**Skull** : shHHhHh did you have to add that last part??

**Anon** : bad skull >:(

**Anon** : get off your phone and go to classssssssssss

**Joker** : speaking of school shoutout to that guy who sat behind me last year

**Joker** : he could probably see everything that i was doing at my desk and never said a word about it

**Joker** : now that i think about it that entire half of the room at least probably knew about what i was doing but that’s not the point

**Anon** : Joker what did you do

**Anon** : wtf were you doing under that desk

**Anon** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Panther** : If he could he would make some of our infiltration tools if there was a spare moment

**Anon** : “infiltration tools”?

**Anon** : Oooo a look into what the thieves use!

**Anon** : joker made this shit at his desk… what a madlad

**Joker** : Lockpicks, smokebombs, goho-ms, literal bombs, you name it

**Anon** : excuse me WHAT

**Anon** : YOU MADE _BOMBS_ IN YOUR SCHOOL DESK???

**Anon** : The fuck’s a “goho-m”

**Rat** : Oh you used Goho-Ms too?

**Skull** : Occasionally yeah

**Anon** : HI RAT

**Anon** : RAT

**Rat** : Hello~!

**Skull** : Wait what do you mean “too”?!

**Rat** : Back to the abyss I go!

**Skull** : WAIT A SECOND

**Joker** : skull we’ve already established that rat has an idea on how our methods work after that pic he sent

**Anon** : wait pic?

**Anon** : “pic”?

**Joker** : we don’t talk about that

**Anon** : Okay???

**Anon** : interesting

**Anon** : Oh yeah I remember you guys flipping out over it

**Joker** : _moving on_

**Anon** : “moving on” is gonna become Joker’s catchphraes

**Anon** : any of you have pets?

**Skull** : nah Joker’s catchphrase is “it’s showtime”

**Anon** :  catto.png 

**Anon** : CAT

**Panther** : Scholar has two ferrets!

**Anon** : :O

**Anon** : pics???

**Joker** : scholar’s also glaring at me from behind

**Marked Anon** : pay atention to the lesson

**Marked Anon** : attention

**Marked Anon** : don’t be like me and nearly fail everything

**Anon** : unexpected marked anon being responsible

**Anon** : They should be paying attention anyways >:(

**Joker** : if i don’t get off scholar’s gonna burn a hole through the back of my head anyways

**Scholar** : damn straight i will

**Anon** : Scholar you hypocrite

**Anon** : ha you guys have class still

**Noir** : I could entertain chat while everyone else is in class if you’d like!

**Noir** : If Mona-chan’s available he probably could as well, though he’s probably not…

**Anon** : NOIR!!

**Anon** : how’re you doing Noir?

**Anon** : Noir rises!!

**Noir** : Hello everyone!

**Anon** : :D

**Noir** : I’m doing rather well. Queen’s studying, so I’ve been tending to the flowers I have.

**Noir** : Hold on! Let me take a photo of them!

**Anon** : Ooooo what kind of flowers??

**Anon** : :O

**Anon** :  givemetheplant.jpeg 

**Noir** :  flowers.png 

**Noir** : I have hydrangeas and lavender right now, but I’m hoping to get some more seeds soon!

**Anon** : those look so pretty omg

**Anon** : You are fantastic at taking photos

**Anon** : OMG THEY LOOK GORGEOUS

**Anon** : There’s little smiley faces on the pots :D

**Noir** : I thought that just a plain brown pot didn’t look good, so I decorated them a little :>

**Joker** : how could you not tell me about the smiley faces

**Anon** : JOKER

**Joker** : i trusted you

**Anon** : has Joker been lurking the entire time???

**Anon** : omg joker GET OUT

**Joker** : i even told you what flowers you should get

**Anon** : dhfskjdshfkljhsfd

**Anon** :  no.png 

**Joker** : this is the thanks i get?

**Noir** : It seems you wouldn’t mind me getting Queen online?

**Anon** : yes joker

**Anon** : be the rebellious little shit u were always meant to be

**Anon** : Noir has brought out the Queen card!

**Noir** : She is studying, you know, and I don’t think she’d be too pleased to be interrupted because you’re not paying attention :)

**Anon** : :)

**Anon** : SMILEY

**Anon** : :)

**Joker** : i have no idea what you’re talking about

**Anon** : :)

**Anon** : :)

**Anon** : :)

**Anon** : :)

**Anon** : theres a whole army of us and one of u whatchu gonna do

**Anon** : :)

**Anon** : :)

**Anon** : All in favor of kicking Joker off chat until he learns to pay attention reply with a >:)

**Anon** : >:)

**Anon** : :)

**Anon** : >:)

**Anon** : >:)

**Anon** : :)

**Anon** : >:)

**Anon** : >:)

**Anon** : >:)

**Anon** : :)

**Anon** : >:)

**Anon** : >:)

**Joker** : please don’t

**Anon** : >:)

**Anon** : >:)

**Anon** : if you do i’ll start punching trees

**Anon** : >:)

**Anon** : >:)

**Anon** : wAIT WHY AM I AN ANON NOW

**Anon** : WTF

**Anon** : >:)

**Anon** : >:)

**Anon** : omg they actually did it

**Anon** : ONE OF THEM ACTUALLY KICKED JOKER

**Anon** : WHOEVER IT WAS PLEASE REVEAL THYSELF

**ADMIN** : >:)

**Anon** : ADMIN I TRUSTED YOU

**Anon** : HDJSKLFHDJKS

**Anon** : OMG ADMIN CAME IN FOR THE CLUTCH

**ADMIN** : now that joker no longer exists, i believe it’s time to get back to class

**Anon** : fuck you admin

**Anon** : rip Joker

**Anon** : Joker is now one of us

**Anon** : ONE OF US ONE OF US

**Anon** : Wait is that a good thing or not????

**Anon** :  anyoneofus.jpeg 

**Noir** : That was not what I intended, but as long as Joker pays attention, all’s well that ends well!

**Anon** : so noir got any funny stories of the others?

**Noir** : I believe one of the others told some before, yes?

**Noir** : If I were to say one though… 

**Noir** : Oh! Remember how you were told about the whole “Brainwash” scenario with me?

**Noir** : Well, even after the effect had worn of, I may or may not’ve had a little fun with the other Thieves :)

**Anon** : OH NO

**Anon** : PFDHJSLFHJKDSHF

**Anon** : NOIR WHAT DID YOU DO

**Anon** : i cna only imagine the terror

**Marked Anon** : you are evil

**Noir** : Why thank you~!

**Anon** : So is it just Noir who's available right now?

**Anon** : p sure the rest are in class

**Anon** : mmhmm

**Noir** : Everyone but Queen and I are in class, and I'm not sure what Mona's up to right now…

**Mona** : You called?

**Anon** : Ask and ye shall recieve

**Anon** : Hi Mona :D

**Mona** : Hello, everyone

**Mona** : I've been set free so now I can answer some questions too

**Anon** : Set free??

**Anon** : why can't you type

**Anon** : The Mona Mystery™

**Mona** : I don't have hands?

**Anon** : how do you not have hands wtf

**Anon** : Odd response but ok

**Anon** : …

**Anon** : :/

**Noir** : It's completely true, Mona-chan doesn't have hands

**Anon** : :thinking:

**Anon** : How have you guys been this fine day?

**Noir** : Like I said, I'm doing rather well!

**Mona** : I don't have anything to do, so I've been bored the majority of the day.

**Anon** : damn

**Anon** : sucks to be you i guess mona

**Anon** : Why'd you guys send calling cards to each of your targets?

**Noir** : It was a necessary step, actually!

**Anon** : huh

**Mona** : In order for us to be able to steal a person's heart, they have to be made aware that we are in fact going to steal it.

**Anon** : so it wasn't some flashy move to get attention?

**Anon** : Who'd've thought that the calling cards had actual value to thier operations

**Marked Anon** : the more you know

**Oracle** : class complete

**Oracle** : awaiting next one

**Anon** : yo Oracle

**Anon** : I SWEAR TO GOD IF I'M STILL AN ANON

**Anon** : GODDAMMIT

**Anon** : did no one change joker back?

**Oracle** : …what the fuck happened while i was being a decent human being

**Noir** : Joker happened to not be paying attention to his class, so we put him into Anon mode!

**Anon** : you do realize that he's been disguised now right

**Anon** : he could've been any one of the last anons

**Scholar** : No, he really couldn't

**Scholar** : if he was i would've called him out since he sits right in front of me

**Anon** : please change me back

**Anon** : Rip Joker

**Anon** : he no longer exists

**Anon** : soooo did you guys ever take any pictures during your missions

**Anon** : :O Costume pics costume pics

**Oracle** : unfortunately for the others i was the only one able to take pics during our missions >:)

**Oracle** : and if you want pics of everyone's outfits i can send them

**Oracle** : …with joker's permission, so hang on a second

**Anon** : pics! pics! pics!

**Anon** : everyone about to roll up in phantom thieves cosplays at conventions

**Anon** : As a cosplayer I 100% would cosplay all of the thieves

**Oracle** : ok joker you should be you again

**angery man** : you better not be lying

**angery man** : …

**angery man** : that's it

**chat's closed, everyone go home**

**angery man** : no pics for you

  
**Oracle** : :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okokok i know it's been a couple weeks since i updated but i'm not giving this up that quickly. i mean, i'm almost at chapter 10!
> 
> anyways next week I probably won't be updating since I'm gonna be busy with things, so if I don't update don't worry
> 
> This chapter took me a bit and I promise things with Rat and the other P4 crew will progress soon hsdfkjldsfh
> 
> unrelated but the other day i finished my first playthrough of persona 4 golden and let me tell you the post-game depression hasn’t hit me yet because oh what do you know i’m doing new game+ and then after that i’m going to mod the game to the point of breaking it :)
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed and stay hydrated!


	9. who needs school when you have personas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Chat's done, everyone's goin to school.**
> 
> * * *
> 
> Everyone did _not_ go to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's back bitches
> 
> (This chapter has actual writing so I hope I did it well sdfhkjsdhfkj)

**~Direct Messages: Rat~**

**Oracle** : hey so you wanna explain why your legal data is forged

* * *

**welcome to the chatroom. come on, take a seat, interview us. do it.**

**Oracle** : It is with grave sadness that I have to bring this announcement.

**Anon** : ?

**Anon** : oh no

**Oracle** : Rat no longer exists. He has been eliminated from the world and will no longer be talking with us.

**Oracle** : what i'm saying is he's banned

**Anon** : shdKFUJhue

**Anon** : OH NO D:

**Anon** : What are his charges?

**Oracle** : not giving me straight answers and bullying me >:C

**Anon** : RIP Rat, banned for crimes against Oracle.

**Marked Anon** : he keeps pestering me for my phone so he can talk send help

**Scholar** : hey guys should i go to joker's house and wake him up by blasting this on my phone [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeKE0NHUtUw ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeKE0NHUtUw)

**Anon** : omg do it

**Anon** : DO IT DO IT DO IT

**Anon** : YES

**Anon** : you better record it

**Scholar** : will record it and have Oracle edit it for sending

**Oracle** : hell yea

**Anon** : we shall await your return

**Anon** : YEEEEAAAHHH

**Lavenza** : My, I must say even though the Trickster's journey has been completed you're all still as lively as ever.

**Oracle** : HOLD UP

**Anon** : wait a second

**Anon** : Whomst????

**Oracle** : LAVENZA????

**Oracle** : WE THOUHGT U WERE GONE

**Anon** : trickster?

**Anon** : whaaaat

**Anon** : Yo who dis

**Lavenza** : While the Trickster no longer needs mine and my master's assistance, we still exist within the Velvet Room.

**Marked Anon** : velvet room??

**Anon** : wtf is the velvet room

**Marked Anon** : wait a second

**Oracle** : i guess that makes sense

**Oracle** : oh shit scholar sent me the video

**Anon** : AW YEA

**Joker** : My day is ruined and it hasn't even started.

**Joker** : also HOLD UP LAVENZA'S HERE????

**Lavenza** : That is correct! One of my older sisters showed me how to use my phone to communicate through here.

**Anon** : is someone gonna ever explain who this lavenza is

**Anon** : please… please explain something…. ANYTHING…….

**Anon** : I hop on to see yet another unknown person wtf

**Anon** : im so CONFUSED

**Anon** : ????

**Anon** : wait wait wait back it up

**Anon** : What the _fuck_ is going on

**Lavenza** : It seems my appearance has caused some confusion.

**Lavenza** : Should I explain?

**Anon** : PLEASE

**Anon** : P L E A S E

**Joker** : you know what

**Anon** : WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON

**Anon** : DON'T DO THIS TO US

**Anon** : GIVE US ANSWERS

**Joker** : leave 'em in the dark

**Anon** : NOOOOOOOOO

**Anon** : JOKER YOU LITTLE SHITE

**Anon** : D:

**Anon** : welp guess we'll just have to accept this

**Joker** : all the anons need to know is that this is Lavenza and she's someone who helped me thief

**Lavenza** : It's wonderful to meet so many people!

**Anon** : lavenza mentioned something about a sister

**Anon** : does someone actually have siblings :O?

**Joker** : wait a second

**Joker** : you never told me about this

**Lavenza** : I have two older sisters and an older brother!

**Lavenza** : They were never mentioned partly because the Velvet Room was out of our reach and that they had no involvement in your journey.

**Anon** : siblings :D

**Lavenza** : I… never was told what happened during the time the false God was occupying it. Judging from them not ever finding the other Wild Cards and asking for their assistance, I can only assume that they were caught in the same trap.

**Anon** : ???

**Anon** : what the fuck have you and your friends been through

**Anon** : Speaking of where is everyone else?

**Oracle** : either sleeping, waking up or getting ready for school

**Scholar** : lurking. i have no idea what the fuck's going on so

**Joker** : shit i have school

**Anon** : get going clown

**Anon** : hehe clown

**Joker** : listen

**Anon** : we're listening

**Joker** : i was about to say i might be a clown but at least i'm no fool but that's not true

**Lavenza** : As such is the Wild Card.

**Anon** : wild what

**Anon** : Maybe we should just move on…

**Anon** : nonono I want answers

**Joker** : Sucks to be you then cuz you're not getting any

**Scholar** : joker get your ass to the door we're going to be late

**Anon** : GET TO CLASS JOKER

**Anon** : @EVERYONE GET TO CLASS

**Anon** : DAMMIT STILL DOESN'T WORK

**Joker** : Fine >:(

**Chat's done, everyone's goin to school.**

* * *

Everyone did _not_ go to school.

As Akira and Shiho were about to head out the door of his house, Arsène suddenly shifted in his mind.

**_Something's off._ **

He stopped. Shiho reciprocated him.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "If we don't hurry we're—"

"Hang on," Akira said. He paused before saying, "We'll be late either way. A few minutes won't hurt."

There was a look of doubt on Shiho's face, and decided to let Akira do whatever he was going to.

Somehow, that ended up with the two of them landing directly in the inside of a TV.

* * *

Morgana had looked everywhere. Their school, the shopping district, their houses, the riverbank, the only Junes they had, _everywhere_. He had tried calling both of their phones multiple times with his device, but neither of them answered at all.

When he was doing a last check of Shiho's house, he saw a police officer and a detective standing in front of the door talking to her mom.

"She _always_ texts when she's going to be out, no matter what. After what happened to her last year… Please, Dojima-san, I'll pay anything for you to find her!"

The detective gave a sigh. "And I thought I was done with mysterious disappearances… Well, Satonaka? What do you think?"

"We have to find her. I… This case hits close home, considering what happened way back then." The young officer looked at the detective with a certain determination. "We're going to find her."

The detective chuckles. "Glad we're on the same page." He looks to Shiho's mom. "Don't worry. We'll be sure to find her before anything can happen. There's no need for you to pay us anything extra, either."

Shiho's mom sighs in relief and gives a deep bow. "Thank you so much, Dojima-san!"

As they turned around to leave, the mother spoke again. "Oh! One more thing before you go! I don't know if this information can help, but while I was looking around the shopping district I heard some students that go to her school say that one of her friends, Akira Kurusu, also wasn't at school today."

"Akira Kurusu, huh?" the detective pondered. "Thank you very much. We'll check with the school about his attendance. Yasogami, right?"

The officer's eyes gleamed at the name, but she didn't say anything.

"Yes… yes, that's their school," Shiho's mom confirmed.

"Thank you for the information, Suzui-san. We'll be on our way now."

The pair then turned away, but for a second, the officer stopped and looked directly at Morgana. Once their eyes met, the feline knew it was time for him to go. He shouldn't have to worry, now that the police are aware of the situation, and yet…

He still makes a single call to a certain hacker.

* * *

_"What do you mean, something's wrong?"_ Yosuke asked over the phone.

"I mean that something's _wrong_ here! It's almost like how it was whenever someone was put into the TV!" Teddie responded.

_"But that's impossible! Adachi's arrested and we defeated Izanami! How could anyone possibly get in without one of us bringing them there?"_

"That's what _I'm_ wondering!"  
  


Chie then cut in. "We have three of us here already. I say we just go in and investigate what's going on. Recon and stuff." Teddie gave a stare, and judging by the silence it can be assumed Yosuke was staring at whatever was in front of him. "If there end up being Shadows and they're too much for us to handle, we can always just pull out and wait for backup."

"You really think we should?" Yukiko asked. "There could be some sort of trap waiting for us."

"We won't know until we go, will we?"

"...I guess not."

"Then it's settled! Teddie, Yukiko and I are going into the TV World!"

Yosuke made a sound as if he was going to protest, before deciding not to. Instead he said, _"Just be careful, alright? It's been a while since we've had any field work like this. None of you can go dying on us now, you hear?"_

Chie dismissed Yosuke's concerns with an exaggerated "We'll be fine!"

The group started making plans for their adventure into the TV world. They decided to go in tomorrow to investigate, taking this day to prepare. Chie would report to Dojima about the TV World and how they were going to investigate, Teddie would keep an eye on the TV World from the entrance, and Yukiko would be the one to gather some healing supplies. Everyone was in charge of getting their own weapons ready.

Once everyone was ready to split up, there was a _pi pi pi_ from Teddie's phone.

"Who's texting?" Chie asked.

"It's Ora~chan," Teddie said. "She's… asking if we're in Inaba. She's not typing in her usual style, either."

* * *

**~Direct Messages: Oracle~**

**Oracle** : Hey.

**Oracle** : You're stationed in Inaba, right?

**Oracle** : We need your help.

**Oracle** : But first I _need_ to confirm you're in Inaba.

**Oracle** : This is serious.

* * *

"What do I say?"

The three looked at each other, before Yukiko said, "I think we can trust her. She already knows who you are, anyways."

Teddie nodded.

* * *

**~Direct Messages: Oracle~**

**Rat** : Yep! The one and only Inaba!

**Oracle** : Alright.

**Oracle** : I'm going to tell you something that Joker would probably kill me if he found out.

**Oracle** : Joker, Mona and Scholar are all currently in Inaba.

**Oracle** : However, Mona informed me that Joker and Scholar have gone missing.

**Oracle** : I want you to meet up with Mona.

* * *

"WHAT?!" Chie yelled. "Wait, you're telling me that _Joker_ was living here this entire time?!"

* * *

**~Direct Messages: Oracle~**

**Oracle** : Joker and Scholar aren't answering their phones, and according to Mona there's no trace of them anywhere.

**Oracle** : My bugs aren't getting any feed either, so either their phones were broken or they're not in this world.

**Oracle** : Please help us.

**Oracle** : I don't want to loose our leader again.

* * *

The trio stared at the phone, then at each other. There was a look in their eyes that said everything. With a few taps, Teddie sent their response and a groupchat was made between him, Oracle and Mona.

They needed to meet as soon as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI YES HELLO IT'S BEEN A WHILE I KNOW
> 
> I am so so SO sorry for putting this on the backburner for so long. A week turned into two which turned into a month and it just kind of snowballed from there. I've been wanting to get back into writing this for a while now but I just never did (mainly because I was stuck on how to write Akira and Shiho entering the TV World). So I wanted to give you all a little treat for Christmas.
> 
> This week I'm going to upload at least 3 chapters. One today, one on Wednesday, and one on Friday. If I get into a grove there may be more, but don't get your hopes up haha.
> 
> Honestly I also procrastinated because I rewrote the "going into the TV" thing I think at least 3 different times because I didn't like how it was. Honestly I still think it's rocky but oh well! I hope it was just as entertaining to read, and let's pray that I get back into the swing of things soon haha. Because of the end of this chapter, the next probably won't have too much groupchat stuff but it will be back after Shiho and Akira get saved lol
> 
> ALSO ALSO ALSO I'M PRETTY SURE I HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT SCRAMBLE FINALLY GETTING A WESTERN RELEASE IN FEBRUARY AND I AM SO EXCITED I GET TO ADD SOPHIA AND ZENKICHI SOON :D 
> 
> But yeah! For now we have the P4/5 gangs meeting more officially
> 
> Thank you all so much for being patient with me on this :]
> 
> maybe one day i'll make a separate fic to post outtakes/scenes i didn't like/etc because i have at least 15 google doc pages full of unused content


End file.
